Scared

Hi Stella.

Im so sorry you have to be here. Im only new myself, but there is great support here. Im 39, and was diagnosed on the 1st of march. Grade 3 lump, and dcis in surrounding area. Ive had 2 lumpectomies (no clear margins), have to wait till monday for the result on monday to see if they need to op again. Then onto chemo and radiotherapy. (clear nodes though).

As im early days myself, i havent any advice. The girls here are fantastic and might be able to offer you some advice.

Keep in touch xx

Thanks Hugs, hope all goes smoothly for you. Stella

Hi Stella,

Sorry you are having such a rough time. The chemo is doable. I had 4 rounds last summer. It wasn't as bad as I expected. My main fear was nausea but never had and didn't need the anti sickness pills given to me in case required. You get a few days where you feel very washed out and if like me will feel a bit fluey or hungover without the alcohol! But this passes and usually same time each cycle so you get to know when to expect the few rough days and plan to try and rest those days. Of course there is the hair loss which is horrible to think of but amazing how you cope with it when you have to. I actually miss my wig. I have boring brown hair but my wig was quite blonde and long. I had many strangers admire my cut and highlights which cheered me up no end. Some people prefer to wear scarves or hats.

When you are going through chemo you are given contact numbers and advised you can contact a nurse/Dr anytime day or night if problems which is reassuring.

I won't waffle on anymore. Feel free to ask me any questions you like and I will try to answer either on general forum or PM me.

Best Wishes
A

Thanks A, have wig, bandanas and hats so all set!!! Think it is fear of the unknown that is getting to me, once I get first treatment over wth at least I will know what to expect.

Hi Stella,

Its true the worst bit of chemo is the anticipation of it, most I ever felt was mild morning sickness and flu like. You won't feel it going into veins or anything like that either so no fear there. And really you only feel kind of flu like for about a week then heading back to normal. The drugs are amazing, you are in good hands. Keep strong, get in contact with cancer support group in your area, do, do, do, its really important to meet others, share stories and feel you are not alone. Contact Reach to Recovery too.. And if you lose your hair don't worry it grows back, it won;t be as traumatic as you think, my hair is like Sigourney Weaver from Alien now & while I still wear wig I hope to ditch it end of next month.. hooray! You really are not alone so keep in contact with others its a great support XXX

Thanks michl, yeah the anticipation is hard to cope with, hopefully that will be the worst of it!

Hi Stella
Welcome to this amazing club of very strong ladies. I am sure like all of us you dont want to belong to this club but you know you will cope and come out the other side a wiser, more careing amazing person.

The chemo is tough but manageable. I had heard about the sickness but the anti sickness tablets ensured I had none. The hair loss I dreaded however I bought a few (cheap) wigs on e bay and it was not a problem. Save the money you would have spent on colours/cuts/blow drys etc. and treat yourself. The time passes so quickly I dont know where the last 11 mths have gone.

Keep in touch with us.

Evelyn x x

Thanks Evelyn, yes I look forward to getting to the point where I am looking back on this experience : ) And I know I will be ok once I get the first treatment over with as I will then know what to expect. I will keep in touch. I have also been to Arc house, has anyone gone there? I am having my first session with the counsellor on Tuesday morning, probably a good time to have it, just before my first treatment, if nothing else it will keep me occupied for the morning.

Hi Stella.

I was in arc house a couple of weeks ago. Ive booked myself in for some councelling for the 26th. Im not sure I need it right, but i might feel different by then...lol.....

Im going to a meeting this monday at 10.15. Its for young women with bc (up to the age of 45 ish (some are a little older). You should come along if you can make it.
Im really looking forward to it.

I was diagnosed on the 1st of march with bc. I had a lump, and surrounding areas of dcis. Had a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy a week later. Then a re-exision three weeks later to get clear margins (still waiting for results). I hope they are clear or its gong to be a mastectomy for me
I have been told I will be having chemo, and radiotherapy.
Im 39 with 4 kids

Im looking forward to monday in arc house!
Are you attending the mater?

Hugs, I'll let you know how the counselling goes. I am 49 so don't know that I'd fit in the "younger women with BC category". I started off in the Mater but transferred to Mater Private, I couldn't hack the waiting times and they had a bed crisis so would have been 2 - 3 weeks waiting for surgery, my nerves couldn't take it. I attend Maurice Stokes and my onco is John McCaffrey. I have 3 kids, well eldest "kid" is 21 lol, 18 and 12. My 18 yo daughter has Down Syndrome and it has so difficult explaining everything to her, mind you she thought it was hilarious when I told her I was gonna be bald

Well you wont be the only 49'er there from what ive been told

Im under Mr Stokes aswell (im presuming its the same one...lol)
I had been told two to three weeks for the ops aswell, but in both cases it was only a week. Its the bloomin results that drive me insane!!! It seems to take so long

My youngest guy (8) has Adhd and high functioning autism, so it was hard to explain to him. Although he does think its funny that ill be wearing a wig, and he telling everyone that Ill be bald.
I thought it was better to tell him early on about it, im hoping it will make it easier for him.
My oldest boys are almost 16, and my girl is 14. Its a busy house

You have your hands full hugs!!!! Mr. Stokes is a lovely man, isn't he? sTELLA

Hi Stella
Like yourself I am with Mr Stokes and Dr John Mc Caffrey,both are lovely men. Would you believe my cancer was confirmed on Dr Mc Caffrey's birthday ironic I think. I had all my tests in mater private then mastectomy in Mater and back to Mater private for chemo. I found nurses/staff fantastic in both hospitals, they are a dedicated bunch and we are lucky to have them.
Evelyn x x

I agree Evelyn, they are both lovely and the staff in both hospitals are wonderful, I couldn't fault them at the Mater but I just couldn't hack the waiting and the crowds. I feel very fortunate to have my "old-fashioned" VHI plan which covers treatment for cancer in the Mater Private. I definitely feel I am in good hands.

Sounds like the Mater private and public is doing well at the moment. I waited 6 weeks for my surgery at St Vincents Private and that was after a year delay in diagnosis. I was told my scans were normal and my lump was not biopsied. Diagnosed finally when I pushed for biopsy after I read on internet scans can be normal in younger women with dense breasts and cancers difficult to see. So unless is a cyst a solid lump should be biopsied. However not to frighten anyone as majority of lumps turn out to be benign. I was just unlucky.

Realise now was a fool to let them convince me all was ok when my gut feeling told me otherwise.

Anyway cannot change the past so must concentrate on recovery!

God Avalanche, what a nightmare! Thank god you pushed, although you shouldnt have had to!!!!

Im in the mater public, and they are great. Although Id rather not have to be going there

Thanks Hugs. Ya after reading all the positive comments on here I'm thinking of transferring my follow ups to the Mater. Once I got to treatment stage the care was good at St V's and I put the delays behind me as focused on treatment. Now I am feeling a bit angry and find it hard to trust they won't get things wrong again. I have quite a few symptom problems they are being dismissive off so may be time to see if I can find somewhere more understanding. Feel like I'm being treated like I'm being neurotic if I mention any symptoms at the moment and am supposed to be grateful just to be alive.

I am grateful to myself for persisting

Ya sure would prefer none of us had to frequent hospital appts but easier if the doctors listen to our worries.

I have everything crossed for your results on Wed. Hope you are managing to keep sane with the waiting.

Best Wishes
A

I wouldnt blame you for being angry, I would be too!!!!
Id find it hard to trust them aswell. Although it is important that you stay as positive as possible, for your state of mind as well as your body.
Im suprised that they seem to be brushing off your concerns. My breastcare nurse is very supportive and never makes me feel that im asking stupid questions (and im sure i ask a lot.. )

A, don't blame you for being angry, that's the pits!!! I would recommend the Mater/Mater Private and I wouldn't trust Vincents either after all you've been through.

Thanks Hugs and Updowns,

I know I probably shouldn't have posted my gripes on here as don't want to upset anyone else. My experience is an unfortunate one and not the norm from all the positive posts on here about good care.

I feel better just for having my moan though!

Another lovely sunny day so off for a walk on the beach with a friend I made in St V who has lung cancer. We have a great laugh together with cancer jokes So something good came out of my visits there.

Have a lovely Sunday

Youre dead right to get out and enjoy the sun while it lasts...lol
We have lots of 'cancer' jokes here. If we laugh about it, its not as scary.

Feel free to come on here and gripe all you want. This stuff is shit, and while it is great to be as positive as you can, it isnt always going to be.
As my breastcare nurse told me a few weeks ago 'its gonna come out one way or the other'. I had gotten upset over something stupid, but when Im being told the serious stuff Im quite matter of fact..... ie: 'You have cancer' ...'ok thats fine, what do we do now.' Then someone tells me that their neighbours dog died and i break down in convultions of tears ( i never met the dog).

I think these boards are a bit like councelling, and we need to be able to say how we feel. The positivity is great, but im sure it must frighten new people who maybe arent as comfortable with 'cancer' as we make out we are (if that makes sense)

Plus its normal to be angry/sad/mad/cross/insane/ (add your own comment)

If im not making sense, just ignore me

Hi everyone
Yes I agree we all know our own bodies and what feels right/wrong. My "little allien" was hard to diagnose. 2 biopsies not a clear result finally a lumpectomy showed grade 2 cancer so had mastectomy. In saying that my breast surgeon always know it was cancer and he kept pushing till he got a clear result.

Thanks for all the supportive comments. I love the humour on here really makes me chuckle. I think some of you could write a column in one of the newspapers.

Hugs you make a lot of sense and have the emotions down to a T

Evelyn your surgeon sounds fab. There are some good ones out there

Hi Stella,
Sorry you have to join our group (in a good way though kinda, ah anyway ya know what I mean). I hope you are doing ok.
I meant to reply to your post for days. Just wanted to wish you well.
Celine

Hi Stella

I meant to post a reply before now, just wanted to wish you luck as you start your treatment. I know it's just the worst time (I had a lumpectomy, node clearance followed by 8 rounds of chemo AC/T, then 7 weeks radiotherapy, just finished radiotherapy last week). When it all started for me back in August I was coping ok with it until I heard I needed chemo..that for me was the scariest part. What I wouldn't have given for a fast forward button to a few months later!! But just to let you know, of course it's no fun but you will get through it. It will mean you will have your bad days and then your good days and the bad days will pass because you know there's a good day coming. You will get loads of advice from the nurses, who really know their stuff, and you can ask any amount of questions you like. Everyone's story on here is different, but all similar enough..so you can pop a question on here anytime and someone will answer. Even though it seemed lonely sometimes because I was the one going through it, there is always someone to talk to and look for answers from. Are you having 4 AC? What about after that? One tip I would give you for the duration of chemo is to drink lots of water, I'm convinced that helps your body flush out the toxins as quickly as possible....I'm not a great water drinker so it was a struggle, but you can get into the habit!

Try not to worry about sickness, as other people have said, the medical team will have that under control for you, there are more tablets out there than I ever knew to help prevent you feeling sick!I won't go on anymore for now!! If you're wondering about anything else just ask!
Don't forget you have some new friends on here that know what you are going through
Take care, B.

Thanks girls, you are a great bunch Well, have my first chemo behind me and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Felt a bit sick last night and this morning, a bit fluey too, the tons of tablets have taken care of the nausea tg. Had heartburn to but phoned oncology ward and was told what else I could take so that's gone too. Just feel a bit tired. Have nurse coming tomorrow morning to show me how to administer my neulasta injection.

Following the 4 AC I will a pet scan, a break, then 12 weekly cycles of taxol + avastin. Then rads. Not thinking about all that tho, just celebrating the fact that I have one down and 3 to go

Thanks for all the support.

Stella

Hi Stella,

Well done, great to get the first one out of the way as it is the most nerve racking. After that you know what to expect and hopefully is less stressful. I hope your side effects are short lived. Don't worry about the neulasta, very small needle and I found didn't hurt.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and if can think of any tips will let you know. One off top of my head I found useful is after a while the chemo can cause a metallic taste in your mouth and pineapple chunks helped with this.

Best Wishes
A

Hi Stella
Delighted your 1st chemo went well. The injection tomorrow will be fine, I actually felt very proud of myself every time I did it. Started to feel like a nurse The chemo gave me hot flushes and I put up with them, however now I am on Tamoxifen they are a bit worse. I bought myself an electric fan and it is great comes into every room with me it really cools me down especially at night in bed.
The hospital (mater private) gave me a free book (available from cancer society) on chemotherapy which I found answered many questions I had. They also have leaflets on other topics. Their number is freephone so it's worth giving them a call.
Evelyn x x