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posted by RyBread
06 May 2024

How to support a relative?

Last reply: 07 May 2024 14:15
Just wondering what the best way is to support a relative with replacing cancer?
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posted by pamela anne
18 April 2024

Stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer

Last reply: 19 April 2024 15:50
Hi my husband has stage four nets pancreatic and liver cancer. He was diagnosed in Jan 2021 We were told in December that the liver tumour is growing and he has been on chemo for the last 3months. I work full time but am thinking I need to go part time or take time off as he is getting weak and tired but financially this will be hard as he had to take early retirement last year because of his illness . I am quiet overwhelmed with everything but don’t want to worry him . My question is who are the best people to talk to about this .I am 59 and my husband is now 58
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posted by shiv76
12 January 2024

Elevated liver enzymes

Last reply: 23 January 2024 13:49
Hey everyone My partner had high liver enzymes after just one dose of Carpo Taxol weekly protocol . Hasn’t been able ti have chemo in 3 weeks due to it ( weekly protocol ) They have a plan but just seeing if anyone else has such a crappy start
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posted by HKB
10 January 2024

TIAs and cancer

Last reply: 11 January 2024 12:31
My 91 year old mother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer at the end of Sept. She's had a stent inserted and is not having other treatment. So she's basically in palliative care at home and we have great support from the local medical community. She had an incident this morning where after feeling weak and being helped to sit on her bed, she basically froze, staring, unable to speak or react to us speaking to her. Her head and neck were rigid and her eyes were unfocused. We've been told she may have already had a TIA or could have them and I'd like to know if this was a TIA. I haven't seen her have one before, though she's complained of the back of her head being 'uncomfortable' on two other occasions... So far there are no visible side effects, such as a stroke might produce or anything similar. She's tired but OK afterwards. Thanks for any input.
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posted by Amandacat
15 December 2023

Anger issues and how to cope

Last reply: 18 December 2023 16:08
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 3 weeks ago, spread to ribs and breast bone. He is 79 and is very very frail so would not be able for treatment. He is experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations atm The palliative team have referred him back to hospital for urgent hypercalcemia treatment. My question is while i understand that it is so scary for him right now and with not feeling well and in pain his mood is bound to be low but he is getting very verbally aggressive with my brother (his main carer as my brother and his family live with him). He is taking out all his anger on him. Blaming him for him getting cancer because he called the ambulance the 1st night. Fighting with him constantly. This is having a real adverse effect in my brother's mental health. He isnt like that with me as I'm not there 24/7. Apart from me telling my brother to not take it personal as its based out of fear and to remove himself from the room when my dad gets this way, is there anything else i can suggest? Many thanks
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posted by Aayushee
05 November 2023

Reports and Treatment Summary

Hello all, I am Aayushee, I am currently living in cork to support my sister on her cancer journey. We are originally from India. I have a doubt, my sister was admitted in mercy university hospital cork for 26 days as she developed an infection in surgical site post surgery, we haven’t received any discharge/ treatment summary containing the details of her treatment during that duration. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy and we would need the same details when she is done with her treatment as this would be helpful in taking it back to India for second opinions from doctors. How can I get these? We had reached out to FOI for scan reports and have received them, but I am still not clear about these treatment summary details.
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posted by RK
16 October 2023

Preparing myself for the end

Last reply: 16 October 2023 10:36
My husband and myself are 40. He has been diagnosed with life ending cancer. It is quite extensive. Last August we were told stage 4 lung, lymph nodes, spine, hip and thoracic. This year it’s spread to more bones, stomach lining and liver. My husband is completely in denial about his palliative diagnosis but I’m aware and happy to help him think he will survive. I’m heartbroken but I’m off work as a carer which I am grateful to have this time together. My main concern one I’ve been nervous to ask is what should I expect to happen near the end. Right now he’s being treated with palliative radiation for severe pain. And chemo to lengthen things. Any advice please would be appreciated.
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posted by Margherita
15 October 2023

Looking for other spouses/carers to relate to about the experience.

Hi, I am a 39 year old woman, with a 5 year old daughter and a husband in his early 40s who is currently in chemotherapy for secondary cancer. He first had cancer 5/6 years ago, and the outcome of his surgery and chemotherapy then was very positive. Unfortunately, it's come back quite aggressively in multiple sites, and we've had an exhausting time since his first symptoms last December. I have access to therapy, a good and caring gp, and a supportive family. But I find myself most often craving a conversation with another person whose spouse is in a similar position, or another cancer patient with a young family, or just anyone who can relate to where we are right now. Family and friends mean so well but they don't really know what to say, and that gets tiring to engage with. I'm surprised to discover there are a lot of support groups for patients, but none for carers, that I can find. The cancer support centre in my county has counselling but that's not what I want. I don't need any more sympathy, I need to relate. As I'm sure plenty of people already know, the Facebook groups can be helpful for info but also full of weirdos with juice recipes to cure cancer. Anyone else out there feeling the same way?
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21 May 2023

Looking after my husband

Last reply: 02 June 2023 10:38
Hello there, I'm currently looking after my husband who has cancer, and I've stopped work to become his carer..he is on chemo, his tumours are shrinking, and some tests are very positive...but I'm not in a good head space really myself, as I keep thinking the worst case scenarios and its making me sick too. Am I the only person who feels and thinks like this?? I really need some kind of support I think...we live with my elderly father too..who has been great...but I know he doesn't want to see me crying, and my family are just OK, not a great I silly and selfish to feel so lost and sad I need to be perfect for my looking after him 7 days a wk. Thankyou folks in advance ❤
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posted by Ohjustpeachy
16 March 2023

Supporting parents and trying to remain calm

Last reply: 21 March 2023 16:17
My Dad has been undergoing treatment for prostate cancer about 15 years. My Mam had a lumpectomy for breast cancer in Jun 2021. Mam has since been taking hormones after radiotherapy and is quite well. My Dad has just found out his cancer is now "advanced" and requires chemo to hopefully prevent further metastasis. Understandably they are both reeling from the news, but I am caught in the middle and find it utterly draining being mediator and loving daughter. My Mam rings me to rant daily, Dad is on lots of other meds and has become very confused - she is convinced he has dementia but he has refused tests for that. Mam has refused to join any support groups and despite repeatedly asking her to talk to a friend or join a group and being straight with her about how difficult it is to listen to her ranting about his latest infractions she cannot hear me. I'm posting here because I want to find out if others have experienced similar, seek assistance with how to remain the loving daughter while managing their affairs and how to stay calm and impartial. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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