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posted by ShaneK
04 February 2023

Family in denial

Hello. My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We have just been told that it is now terminal and his life expectancy is very short. This has come as a complete shock and my Dad and I have come to accept this diagnosis, however my sister has been in denial ever since. We also lost our mother when we were young to cancer and there is a lot of unresolved trauma so I understand why my sister is finding it so difficult to accept. My sister and I love our dad very much and we are a very close family. We our trying our best to care for him at home and keep him safe, however we are both doing this in different ways. I am trying to help my dad be as comfortable as possible and want to spend as much quality time with him as I can before he goes. I want to have the much needed and very difficult conversations with him to ensure we grant him all his wishes for whatever remaining time he has here. My sister is trying to wrap my dad up in a bubble and protect him in the hope that a miracle comes along and saves him. She is avoiding any difficult conversations and I feel my dad is scared to talk to her in fear of upsetting her. I'm worried that one day she will look back and realize she wasted all of her time with my dad clinging onto false hope instead of enjoying the time she has left with him. If she knows that I've spoken to my dad about death or end of life wishes she gets very angry thinking that I'm scaring my dad and making him loose hope on getting better. I understand she is scared and I have tried to talk to her but I think she is so far in denial the conversations may break us apart. I have never fought with my sister but we have had a couple of intense conversations the last two weeks. I worry for my Dad and I worry for my sister and I hope someone can give me advice on how to deal with this situation. I mostly want my Dad to know we will be okay and for him to be able to talk to us about his fears and what he wants for the remainder of his life
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posted by lByrne
26 November 2022

End of life care

Last reply: 2 months ago
Looking for help with natural relief for numbness of limbs. Anyone have any suggestions for things that may help give my dad some relief (nothing too invasive) from the numbness in arms and legs during end of life care 💕 many thanks
1 comment
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posted by mla77
31 October 2022

Last chemo session and extreme fatigue and weaknesa

Last reply: 2 months ago
Hi all. My 75 year old Dad finished his last chemo session 2 weeks ago and has been completely wiped out by it. It’s been a rough few months for him, each session seemed a bit worse but this last one has left him extremely weak, barely able to walk, needing constant care and help with the basics. Is this normal? I’ve tried to research effects but can’t find anything that would be as bad as he is now. We have spoken to medical staff and they say to rest. Has anyone else had a similar situation and how long did it take to get back to some sort of independence??
1 comment
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posted by martin1982
02 October 2022

Guy I care about pushing me away

Last reply: 3 months ago
Hi all, Just reaching out for some help really. Long story short- guy I’ve known a long time has stomach cancer (recurring again, he had it before I knew him too). This summer gone by I felt myself growing close to him. We had just been friends for a few years. We went on a few dates. I could feel myself really falling for him big time. Was like I hadn’t seen what was in front of my eyes for a few years. Anyhow, I could suddenly feel him pull away from Me. Grow cold distant and put off any attempts to see me. It hurt. I eventually got it out of him that he was back on Chemo drugs and radiotherapy for the cancer. In his words “just a few dodgy cells”. He said he said he didn’t want to drag someone else into it all. I respect that and of course I kept in touch. Tried helping him out in little ways I could. Fast forward to this week. I tentatively asked him how the treatment had been going. He said not sure as the treatment hasn’t appeared to improve the situation with the cancer. All through text so I don’t have a full picture and again respectfully letting him tell me what he wants to tell rather than more pressure from me. Which he does not need. Only thing is I’ve been shattered all weekend worrying and thinking about him since those words. I realise this is not about me it’s about him and I want to continue the support. I can just tell from the tone and mood of the texts he is very down beat. He suggested he may not continue with the treatment. Which I have to say absolutely floored me. Had anyone any advice or experience of anything similar? Thanks for listening:) Martin
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posted by jackiecav
04 September 2022

Need help

Last reply: 5 months ago
Hi my father has stomach cancer and we are not getting any support where do we go for help local doctor not helping and just keep referring us to A&E he is wasting away in front of us and we don’t know what to do he is in the VHI
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posted by mary elizabeth
11 August 2022

advice on products safe with chemo

Last reply: 5 months ago
hi My mother in law was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in the lining of her gallbladder. It is terminal but she is doing chemo for life extension. She was given a gift with some natural oils in it. She is on a really strong dose of chemo so is afraid to use it. Can anybody advise on this matter? it has 100% natural corriander seed and grapefruit in it. there is lavander, sunflower oil, watermelon, lemongrass, cedarwood and almond oil in it. the second product is sage and cedarwood. They are oils and pillow spray.
2 comments
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posted by tinytrina
16 February 2022

Partner has burning sensation in throat

Last reply: 11 months ago
My partner has stage 4 neck and throat cancer diagnosed last year he under went surgery to remove parts off his tongue and then 6 weeks off radiotherapy and chemotherapy, he has constant burning sensation in his throat and while doctors are offering him pain relief it’s not really helping the burning , is there anything that will help, I’ve tried smoothies etc and went through his diet etc but feel nothing seems to be working , he finds it hard to eat and is losing weight again which is something I don’t want.
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posted by SHING
06 February 2022

Wheelchair

Last reply: 11 months ago
Hello, My father has stage 4 gliosarcoma and along with his communication skills deteriorating, the cancer is affecting his ability to move about safely (he gets confused as to how to sit from standing and struggles now to walk more than a metre or two independently. He is an amputee (one leg below know) and he has gotten around fine until now with prosthetic, crutches and using stair lift at home. I wonder if anyone knows of a resource to access a foldable wheelchair so we can help him when he needs to go to the car and from the car to another building, but also so we can talk him out for air. We are in Dublin City. Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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posted by Anisa
21 January 2022

Supporting my mam

Last reply: 1 year ago
My mam was diagnosed with Stage 4 Uterine Cancer and has had 4 infusions of chemo - she got Covid in December and was hospitalised, our Christmas miracle is that she survived. She had re 4th chemo last week and she's not drinking her required fluids and isn't eating much (she's drinking those food sup drinks so that is something) but she was so bad the other day she needed to get 2 bags of fluids as she was so dehydrated. It is breaking my heart that she's not doing what she's supposed to do to help herself it's like she's given up - I think the 11 days in a Covid ward really affected her mental state. I know chemo affects peoples personality but OMG she's changed so badly she is awfully bad towards my poor dad who is only doing his best to care for her, I broke down in tears with her the other day begging her to drink her water to help.. it's like she has given up and doesn't care about living or her family. I can't bare looking at her knowing she is not doing the bare min to keep herself alive. She won't go to counselling, she tells the chemo team everything is fine, what can I do to help her
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posted by jeano
18 January 2022

Prostate cancer - diarrhea

Last reply: 1 year ago
Hi everyone this is my first post. My dad had prostate cancer that has metastasised. He has been on and off hormone treatment, he’s had surgery on his spinal cord due to radiation. He’s having bad bouts of diarrhea at the moment, I was just wondering if this was a sign of something. Also he is very panicky lately and getting breathless. Anyone with any advice, it would be greatly appreciated Thank you Xxxx
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