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posted by pauliii
03 October 2021

Stomach Cancer

Last reply: 1 month ago
Hello all, My husband, 43, has been diagnosed with a stage 4 gastric Cancer last week! We were shocked as he had no symptoms other thank an occasional heartburn. We were told it was probably caught early given his young age, no symptoms and general good health. How I wish that was true! Last week the scans showed it has spread to the abdomen area and we were told it is no longer operable! Here I am writing to you desperate! We have three kids age 12 and under (youngest is 1.5). We are both foreigners living in ireland for 15 years now and have no family here! I am terrified of what is to come 😱😱😭😭😭
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posted by rachhh
12 September 2021

lymphoma non hodgkin

Last reply: 2 months ago
My Mam has been diagnosed with lymphoma non hodgkin she’s in hospital almost 3 weeks. We are hopeful that she will start her chemo on Tuesday as she has to go to another hospital tomorrow for another scan. The consultant is worried, as the lump is six inches and is close to one of her organs and when the lump shrinks this may damage the organ, if this happens she will have to have an operation, for this reason they will keep her in hospital for her first chemo session. My Mam is sixty years of age, she is healthy and has a good heart before was admitted to the hospital she would have usually went on a daily power walk and sometimes she would do a jog, I am hoping her good enough health will help her through the chemo and she has a strong heart. I am not sure what to expect when she comes out of hospital I am not sure where I can buy her hats as she will lose her hair as it’s strong chemo they are going in with. What can I do to make my Mam’s life easier when she returns home is there certain things I should buy and what should I expect when she’s going through chemo? Thanks for any advise 🙏
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posted by Ciara-11
22 August 2021

Coping

Last reply: 3 months ago
Hey guys, Fairly new here so not exactly sure what to say. My mam was diagnosed with terminal cancer out of the blue recently. To say we are devastated and shocked as a family is an understatement. We never thought this would hit our family but I guess no one ever does. Feeling very lost at the moment as my mam is the closest person to me and we are the closest family ever. Feel like I'm already grieving for her when she is still here and I know the worst is yet to come and it's going to change all our lives forever. Any advice on coping? My friends are amazing but they obviously don't get it because they are never dealt with this. Thanks
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posted by brokensis
24 June 2021

New

Last reply: 4 months ago
Just got news this evening that my younger brother has less than a month He was only diagnosed two weeks ago So we have had no time to process How do I support him when all I want to do is curl up and not face it
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posted by LJH
11 May 2021

Carrying

Last reply: 6 months ago
Hi, My beautiful wife, my friend, my love, the strongest person mentally and physically I have ever met was diagnosed with cervical cancer in March. Im caring for her, sorting out her meds and taking her to all her appointments and yet its feels like im not doing enough, I know she feels helpless as she is usually the person that takes care of everyone else and is constantly looking for stuff to do like she used to before she became sick. The being a patient is getting to her but she will get past it. I cant sleep properly because im worried she will wake up in pain and i wont be at hand to help comfort and ease her. It is really hard listening to the person you love groan in agony in their sleep and know there is nothing you can do to help. Im hoping and praying all day everyday that the treatment works and she beats this horrible disease for good. I just wanted to share a little bit of our story and tell everyone to stay strong and there is a world of love and support out there for anyone who needs it ❤
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posted by cloggie64
27 April 2021

Anticipatory grief

Last reply: 4 months ago
Hi, I am new to the group and hope to find out how you are all dealing with the highs/lows and the uncertainty that comes with caring for someone with a terminal cancer diagnosis. My husband, 48 years old, was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer on the day of our first lockdown (12th of March 2020). He had to start chemo immediately, which showed good results initially, but stopped working back in January. He is now on a different, weekly, chemo course. Throughout this difficult year, he has been through so much with side effects, adverse reactions to some medications, pain, mood swings, etc. Seeing him go through all this, is so hard and I feel utterly powerless at times. I am lucky to have good friends and family around me and their support is amazing, but I still feel completely alone at times. Not sure if that makes sense. I had a GP consult today as I am feeling exhausted all the time and he mentioned that I could be going through anticipatory grief. He suggested talking to a counselor, which I have tried before, but I do not seem to be able to connect with this counselor. Its also hard to talk on the phone to someone you never seen in person. Is there anyone on this forum going through these same feelings? How are you coping with it? I would love to hear from you.
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posted by lisa123
11 March 2021

Mam recently diagnosed

Last reply: 6 months ago
Hi, this is my first time posting here , my mam has recently been diagnosed with primary gallbladder cancer and liver metastasis. They have said it’s serious but treatable but obviously we are all very worried for her . She is starting chemo soon. She is 73 and normally in great health but I’m so worried she won’t make it through . Is this a good sign that they are even doing chemo ? I wanted to ask the doctors more when we went in for her diagnosis but didn’t know how much to say in front of her . They did say it’s stage 4. Does anyone have any words of wisdom to help her and my dad and also how can we help her mentally get through the next while ? Should we talk to her about it or distract her ? Just want to help her as best we can . Thanks all
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posted by abc@@@@1234
01 March 2021

Oesophageal Cancer

Last reply: 7 months ago
My Father is 67 years old and was diagnosed in December 2020 with Advanced Oesophageal Cancer, we are devastated, my family’s lives are in turmoil and my father is trying to come to terms with a death sentence. He could not avail of immunotherapy drugs that are known to help slow the growth of tumours as these drugs are not available to him for the type of cancer he has. What is wrong in this country? Why are we so behind? Why do we let people die without offering them the best possible help and care they need as these drugs could have helped prolong his life. Medical Cannabis is another drug that might have helped prolong his life but you have to meet a certain criteria to avail of Medical Cannabis as it states on mygov.ie, my Father has nothing to loose by trying any of these drugs but he can’t. My Father is not a number, he has a human right to access best possible care which should include medicine/drugs. As I’m typing this my father is dying in a hospital on his own and my family are helpless as we can’t help him. This is for my Dad xxx love you
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posted by tinytrina
25 February 2021

My partner has newly diagnosed with tongue and throat cancer

Last reply: 6 months ago
Hi I’m new here My partner got diagnosed with tongue and throat cancer last week, we have 6 young children and both work, his cancer came as a shock like most, he’s awaiting surgery and has. More tests this week, he has become very ill really quickly which I’m struggling with he’s losing weight and is becoming very tired and his pain is getting worst. I want to support him as much as I can, I will be his main carer is there anyone going through the same thing caring for a loved one, I would like to make new friends going through this journey and we could support each other, what other support can I give my partner I’m feeling lost at the moment
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posted by Homebird
05 December 2020

Caring through another round of aggressive chemo.

Last reply: 11 months ago
Sorry in advance for the long post. My mother was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma around this time last year. The average life expectancy for her cancer is thought to be 6 months to a year. I had just graduated college and was 2 weeks into my new career in a different city when we found out. With 6 rounds of chemo coming up to try and contain the cancer I had to move back home to look after her as she couldn’t live alone. My employer was incredibly understanding and agreed to let me work from home temporarily. My elder brothers live abroad so it’s just me here and no other family to rely on. The chemo made her incredibly ill with her constantly needing to be admitted to hospital which is always a battle to get her there. She wouldn’t eat for weeks on end, couldn’t stand on her own, dress herself anything. I was sleeping on her floor for weeks to make sure she was still breathing, it was quite honestly traumatic. This was pre covid and my brothers flew home a handful of times so I got a day to myself once every month or two. I barely held onto my job with how much work I had to keep taking off. I’m a finance trainee so my hours can range up to 60 hours a week including weekends during busy periods and I’m also meant to be sitting exams. Looking back I’m not sure how I kept it together. The chemo was eventually dialled down and the harsh drug removed as she couldn’t handle it. Then covid hit and in a bid to keep her safe we have been completely cocooned since March. I don’t leave my house except for a walk when she’s ok enough to be left alone and I don’t see anyone at all. We are completely alone all day everyday. 6 months post chemo she’s been doing relatively ok and the struggle she went through was worth it. But we’ve now found out the cancer has entirely collapsed one of her lungs. In order to slow its spread, the decision has been made to try an even more aggressive 6 rounds of chemo again. As much as I want to be there for my mum and I don’t want her to die I don’t know if I can manage it all again on my own. I honestly don’t believe she will be able to handle the side effects this time around and will be left with no quality of life for her final months. She won’t have a carer come in to help and because I was only straight out of college I’m not entitled to sick pay if I have to take time off work again. It looks like I’m going to have to give it up altogether and apply for carers which I don’t think we can financially survive on at present and job is the only thing I have left of a normal life. I love my mum she’s the only family I’ve known and the idea of losing her has been very hard to accept so I feel an incredible amount of guilt that I don’t want to do this round of aggressive chemo again. Any opinions I had on this have been immediately shut down by the team as they assured me she would be looked after (she wasn’t at all the last time, in fact various complaints were filed over neglect issues in the hospital). I can’t describe in words how stressful and isolated the last year has been. She barely survived chemo last time and that was before Covid meant trips to the hospital were so much harder. I’m terrified if she goes back in she won’t come back out and could die alone in the hospital like so many have since the virus started. Chemos starting next week and I’m just not ready for it. I don’t know how other people are coping with it all during these times but I applaud anyone who is managing it. I’ve been running on adrenaline the last 12 months but I’ve run out and don’t know how to keep pushing through. If anyone else has had similar experiences or methods of coping as a carer I’d love to hear them.
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