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I lost my Mam a year ago to ovarian cancer, and got through the first year fine, but I'm finding this year harder - it's as though I never really grieved her properly the first time around. I was so focused on 'getting through' that I never really stopped to see what 'getting through' meant. Now I feel so far away from her, but yet I can't stop thinking about her. I want to remember her as she was (a brilliant and beautiful woman), but can't get past the hospital for her final days, or the way she looked at me and held my hand just before she went into her final coma. I know this is all probably very normal, but I really wanted to know for sure if anyone else is going through something like this, and what you are doing. I'm not sure if counselling would help. I know what is wrong with me - I miss my Mam, and don't want to be without her. What can counselling do to change that?

My dad is dying of tongue cancer and it's horrible to watch. I've seen an independent, intelligent, kind, caring, happy and strong man crumble to someone to a frail and distant version of himself. Dad had a wonderful life and had an extremely was an extremely successful chef and entrepreneur. A man who's life revolved around food now has to rely on a tube for nourishment. A man who enjoyed going for country walks and rambles with his children and the dog can now walk little further than to the front door and it kills me. He is the kindest most genuine human being I have ever met and has the biggest heart in the world for both humans and animals. I have always admired him and grown up so close to him. He was my rock and now the closest person in the world to me is dying. I can't accept it and I don't know how to deal with it. I find I just can't open up to my friends or family properly. I can't open up to anyone. The worst part is that I seem to be removing myself from Dad. I try and get out of the house every evening or go up to my room and on the weekends I make sure I have plans to go out so as not to be at home. It's like I'm pushing myself away from him but I don't know why. This time is precious and I do know that I have little time with him but I think it's almost a coping mechanism or something. I love my Dad so so much and I know he wants me around more. I find myself snappy at times and at other times just convulsively crying in my room. I live at home with my Dad and my mum but I don't, nor have I ever gotten on so well with my mum. We fight all the time and I can barely stand to be in the same room with her for a period of time. What makes me hate her so much I think is that she treats Dad like a patient - she's a nurse! She coddles him and is often uses condescending gestures and words to him and he hates it, especially as such a formerly independent and proud man. But he feels he owes it to her for her care and is too weak for an argument over it. My half-sister, whom i love dearly is a doctor but my mother will not listen to anything she has to say. My mother, being a nurse thinks she knows best. However, she managed to miss a near-fatal infection dad had a few months ago that was only brought to the fore when my sister came home after I rang her to say Dad was terrible. I don't know if anyone will read this or indeed understand my situation but it would be nice to know that someone might be listening. I think I really need someone professional to talk to but I can't afford it myself and I don't want to ask my mother for the money. I'm afraid of how im pushing dad away and I just don't know how I will cope when i loose him. The thought of him dying makes me feel that my life is not worth living once he's gone. I can't cope.

Hi all just found group.I am desperate for help and advice. My daughter was diagnosed with Hodgkin s Lymphoma in January past. Chemo is finished but we were given a blank sheet of paper leaving the hospital.We were not told what to expect when er came home.How our daughter would feel.My husband works and I took leave to take care of my daughter.Problem is she is extremely tired,but is unable to sleep.Stays in her room in bed till 4 pm in darkness.When I go in to see if she is ok I am ordered to leave .It is breaking my heart. My husband does not see this as by the time he gets home from work she is up and is in great form laughing and joking with him.When I try to explain how her day has gone he just looks at me as if I am mad.his way of thinking is the cancer is gone so lets just forget about it.Case dismissed.My daughter would literally take the head off me at every opportunity she gets.Please somebody tell me how to cope. I had my first counselling meeting last week.Any parents out there with advice on how to deal with the situation I would be most grateful.Thank you in advance. Franny

Hi Franny here again My husband and I had my daughter who has had chemo and is now finished at the hospital to see the cancer nurse .My doctor has advised her to see a counsellor or psychologist just to talk to and try and help her come to terms with everythingthat has happened to her since January 2nd .I honestly thought that my daughter was going to take the bite and avail of these services,but as soon as she left the hospital, she said that the nurse had lost the run of herself even suggesting that ,she partake in anything,As Barretstown or Canteenis for sick kids only and that she has seen enough of sickness to last her a lifetime.My worry is if she does not get professional help will she hit a wall in a year or so. If so.If she was to I would never be able to forgive myself. Her only reply is that she wants to forget about the whole episode and get on with her life.I now she is just putting on a front,she would win an oscar.She is still in bed till 4pm curtains drawn and lights off.I am not a professional but christ that cannot be.Does she need help to deal with this,.or is it all in my mind. Many thanks Franny

This coming May will be the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death from cancer. Her and my dad were married 30 years and were best friends.My dad is still as down now nearly 5 years on as he was the day she died.I have 3 siblings and we are all there for him but we are all married with kids so cannot be at home with him full time.He lives on his own in the middle of the countryside and we worry about him on his own.He puts on a brave face for us all of the time but he is always on edge,talking about bad stories he hears around and generally down alot,there is never a positive outlook from him anymore.He retired from his workplace 4 months ago and this has definitely added to his depression as Id say he feels more lost now than ever before.Everything seems to be a struggle for him.I know there is no solution to this really,we cant bring back our mother but I just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone has a similar situation.We hate feeling so helpless for him

Nereas protocel problems Protocel troubles Our five year old granddaughter, Nerea, was diagnosed an inoperable stem cell tumour and after trying various treatments we recently started her on protocel23: recently she was fitted with a feeding tube due to breathing and swallowing difficulties However, she recently started to have breathing troubles due to the white discharge and was admitted on March 1st to a hospitals ICU unit with very high pulserate and serious breathing difficulties. She was put on oxygen and had the discharge removed from her lungs and throat: it was a VERY scary day. She has made a great recovery but is still p oxygen and protocel stopped for the moment HELP PLEASE What can you recommend to  us to help with breathing and swallowing  difficulties as she came very close to dying yesterday

Recently she was sent home with a machine to enable the removal of the white discharge Things have now become VERY DESPERATE and none of us know what to do Plus the suction machine causes irritation and sometimes even bleeding. We've had to stop the Protocel temporarily. I feel awful. If we'd have started the Protocel one year ago she would be ok. As it is, I can't see how we can actually give her the stuff, the only medicine we've found that works Plus the suction machine causes irritation and sometimes even bleeding. We've had to stop the Protocel temporarily. I feel awful. If we'd have started the Protocel one year ago a would be ok. As it is, I can't see how we can

Hi There, Was just wondering if anyone is using Modified Citrus Pectin as a supplement to prostrate cancer medication.My father was diagnosed back in feb 2011 and I have read some interesting articles on its use (Life Extension Magazine March 2009 ).Of course,we will say it to our doctor tomorrow before any decision is made but was just wondering if there are patients using this supplement already, and how they managed to obtain it in Ireland as seems to be only available in USA and Amazon also will not ship it to ireland. Thanking you for any help.

Hope I can get some advice here My dad just been given 4 weeks to live.. Was battling stage 4 rectum tumour the past 8 months. Took a turn for the worst about 6 weeks ago... After fighting well and having had some positive signs for results from chemo. We found out this morning that its spread regardless, and after thinking we had maybe 2 years or so, we were hit with bombshell that he had a month. I don't know how I am going to keep strong in the meantime. It's news we hoped we wouldn't see for a while. He was started on a new chemo, after having great results on original one, and the new one obviously did nothing. Now his time being cut too short. What do I do, how can I act, how can I try hold back te tears when around? I've never dealt with cancer before and every day I can see my daddy fade away before my eyes. He was once a handsome, happy man full of life. This time last year we hadn't a care in the world. I dunno how to cope with all this and be supportive at d same time

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of September - had two different types of tumour in my right breast and had a third tumour on one of my lymph glands. I had a mastectomy and axillary clearance surgery in late October and I'm now going through 6 sessions of chemo before I start radiotherapy. My older brother was ill over the Christmas, was admitted for pneumonia and was finally diagnosed with Acute Myloid Leukemia. He is now also being treated with chemo. Our mum died 12 years ago from a brain tumour but apart from that there is no history of cancer in our family. Are there any other cases where siblings are going through cancer at the same time - could there be any common connection between breast cancer and AML? Any further words of advice as to how I can be of help to my brother?