Caring for someone with cancer
posted by milkymoo24
12 December 2012

My dad just been given 4 weeks to live...

Last reply: 17 January 2013 06:50

Hope I can get some advice here

My dad just been given 4 weeks to live.. Was battling stage 4 rectum tumour the past 8 months. Took a turn for the worst about 6 weeks ago... After fighting well and having had some positive signs for results from chemo. We found out this morning that its spread regardless, and after thinking we had maybe 2 years or so, we were hit with bombshell that he had a month.

I don't know how I am going to keep strong in the meantime. It's news we hoped we wouldn't see for a while. He was started on a new chemo, after having great results on original one, and the new one obviously did nothing. Now his time being cut too short.

What do I do, how can I act, how can I try hold back te tears when around? I've never dealt with cancer before and every day I can see my daddy fade away before my eyes. He was once a handsome, happy man full of life. This time last year we hadn't a care in the world. I dunno how to cope with all this and be supportive at d same time Image removed.

4 comments

Comments

commented by Irish Cancer Society
13 December 2012

13 December 2012 09:01

Dear Milkymoo24

I’m sorry to read about your dad and how unwell he has become over a short time. I would like to encourage you to phone us on the National Cancer Helpline on 1800 200 700 where you can speak confidentially to a cancer nurse specialist where we would be in a position to listen, support and guide you to further help at this difficult and emotional time. Our lines are open from 9am-7pm Monday to Thursday and from 9am to 5pm on Friday.

I would also like to link you to our booklet called Lost for Words which you may find helpful in guiding you in how to support and talk to your dad: [url:2hsgx8fj]http://www.cancer.ie/sites/default/files/content-attachments/lost_for_w…]

I hope that you will hear from other posters on the message board soon.

I hope that you will find this helpful.

Kind regards,

Cancer Information Service Nurse

commented by deefed
07 January 2013

07 January 2013 09:53

Hi Milkymoo

Sorry I am no use as not in the same situation I am battling breast cancer.

Just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear about your Dad - thats all I can say really.

Thinking of you

commented by Annie272
14 January 2013

14 January 2013 13:48

Hi there,

I didn't want to read and not reply, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

My dad passed away on 9th December, after only being diagnosed in October and given 8 weeks, he survived 8 weeks. It was very hard watching him go from a healthy big man to a little old man and we are all absoultely devastated. The only thing we can take from it, is he never suffered in any way. We brought him home and the pallative care team and my brothers looked after him.

I'm here as I found a lump on my breast at Christmas but when I saw this, really felt for you.

Hugs

Annie

commented by Kathleen
17 January 2013

17 January 2013 06:50

Hello MilkyMoo,

I am really sorry to hear about your father being so ill. Life seems so hard at times.

My mother spent the last week of her life in the hospice in Harold's Cross in Dublin. The whole family was helped by the the support team there. It really helped to talk and it helped my mother too to know that we were getting some counseling.

Do what you can to spend time with your father and your family over the next few weeks. Despite what is happening, or maybe because of it, there will still be some golden moments together that you will cherish in your heart forever.

Hugs

Kathleen

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