'Being able to pass the baton of care into the safe, professional and caring hands of a Night Nurse was an immense relief.'

Bernie was so involved in all of our lives, and she made sure of it. Every school play, every new pair of shoes, every Christmas, every birthday, every graduation, every friend, she was there for it all. Every evening when I returned from a day of studying, she would excitedly await my return to divulge that day’s gossip.

I remember countless afternoons spent logging into Facebook and rifling through her notebooks to find her password. She loved to see how everyone she had ever known was getting on in life. We would reach out to her friends together, planning golfing excursions, walks and lunches. She truly loved life and everything about it.  

Sadly, we received bad news about Bernie’s health in December 2019. My mum pulled me aside, “Bernie’s been given about a year; it’s bone marrow cancer”. She had developed Myelodysplasia, a form of cancer of the bone marrow, which meant her body had stopped producing red blood cells and platelets.

As Covid took hold it rendered us unable to see her during this precious time. Eventually we began to see her for garden visits. The garden was always teeming with hydrangeas and the lawn still impeccable despite her fragility. She often appeared with a plate of ham and piccalilli sandwiches paired with Tayto and a pot of tea for all. She truly was the greatest host - she lived to look after those around her. 
Bernie was told the blood transfusions were no longer working in July 2020. She rang my mum from hospital, crying and telling her she wanted to come home to die.
 

The next day the hospice asked if we would like to avail of the Irish Cancer Society’s Night Nursing Service. We were aware of the service but we weren’t aware of the phenomenal relief you feel when the nurse arrives. My mum and aunt who had been caring for Bernie were sleep deprived and emotionally drained. Being able to pass the baton of care into the safe, professional and caring hands of a Night Nurse was an immense relief.

A spectacular, Mary Poppins-esque Night Nurse, Mary, arrived. She sent my mum and aunt to bed for rest and took over from there. Mary would talk to Bernie, watch her breathing, monitor her every flicker. Mary was with us for the final three nights of Bernie’s life. On the final night we sat around the bed watching the clock, willing Mary to arrive.

When my mum woke the next morning, Mary told her Bernie was close to passing. They woke the rest of the family and had time to sit with Bernie before she passed on peacefully. Mary slipped out the door, careful not to intrude on our grief. We never got the opportunity to thank her for her incredible compassion. Our greatest gratitude to Mary and the Irish Cancer Society for this wonderful and priceless gift that brought ease to Bernie and to our family.