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Feeling pretty crap today. I've had a problem before I got breast cancer, pain in my ear travelling down my shoulder into my side, had various scans including brain scan and it showed nothing. Doctor 'thought' it might be a touch if fibro myalgia and prescribed medication which I really don't think made that much of a difference. I stopped taking them when I started chemo didn't see the point, funny thing I didn't suffer while going through chemo. I just don't feel well. Maybe it's because my friend died so quickly but I'm frightened that there is cancer somewhere else and I'm frightened to death, to investigate it. I could cry for Ireland today. Sorry xxxx

[color=#8000BF:32gwcxpa]At last, after all these months, when someone asks me how I am I am telling the truth. 'Its fine', 'I'm managing' etc. was my standard response when someone asked how I was. But inside I was crumbling. It came to a head last week. My moods were very low. I was getting upset and cross very easily. I hadn't the same patience with the children. I was only waiting for bedtime to close my eyes and sleep. Due to different procedures I have slept on my own a lot as I have been sore and restless. I have been up during the night a lot with hot flashes from menopausal symptoms and basically having hit and miss sleep. My other half finds it easier to get a good nights sleep on his own so he can manage the next day, which can be exhausting for him, looking out for me and the children. So I finally realised what I was feeling wasn't good or right for me. I am coping with chemotherapy pretty well I think. I've no fear of needles or the drugs now. I've given my body over to the chemotherapy literally. But the emotional stuff I couldn't deal with so easily and my mind was spiraling downwards with sadness. My doctor wasn't surprised to see me..in fact she wondered how I'd kept going so strong for so long. She prescribed antidepressants which came as no surprise to me. I felt a bit annoyed that I couldn't cope on my own but realised I couldn't go on the way I was feeling either. I'm also accessing counselling support from my local cancer support centre and with the support of my doctor and cancer support counseller I feel I can now move forward. When someone asks me now 'how are you' I tell them the truth and it feels good to be honest. Even the oncology nurse said she knew I was putting on a brave, strong face but she did wonder also how I was keeping up the 'strong' side. So I've also told her the truth about how low I felt. I suppose I'm sharing this so that if anyone else is feeling the same I would advise speak to someone, go to your GP etc. Having cancer is tough. It does take up so much time in your life. Your body can change so much from physically loosing your breasts, hair etc. to emotionally changes like how you feel about having cancer and how it effects you and your family. I wanted to be so strong and to get through this. Now I realise I might need more help than I wanted to do this. But its okay to ask for help and support and its okay to say 'I'm feeling crap'. [/color:32gwcxpa]

I was told today that all malignancy in my breast is gone. I'm sitting here waiting on my herceptin. Time to celebrate. Thanks girls for all your support xxxx

Just wondering at the 'lull' in postings. It's very quiet, hope all is well with everyone xxxx

Well ladies today's news ... pain in the left ankle, left knee, right hip and particularly bad in right elbow and wrist ...... Jesus - 1 month of Arithmidex and I have aged 90+ years. Got down on the floor to do lego with the 4 year old today and thought I would be there for the duration. Could not get up off the floor!!!! So ..... is this normal and what did anyone do about it who has experienced it. The right wrist is particularly bad (operated side ... lymph nodes out from). I am right handed so gammy arm and even more gammy wrist/hand. Oh it just gets better and better. On the plus side I have a head of curls - grey and growing wierd but curls and hair. What a novelty. Had dead straight hair before. Oh the benefits of this wonderful path. lol.

Hi Woke up this morning covered in a mad red rash with welts on my stomach, arms & neck. Itching is driving me mad!!! Im waiting for the oncology team to get back to me - hoping it can be cleared quickly. Anyone else had this? Liz x

Hi Going back this week to Beaumont for my first check-up, six months since surgery, any ideas what to expect? Should I be having a mammogram or will it just be a physical exam and chat Trish

Hi girls. Sorry to bring this drug up again. I was reading through all the previous threads about sleep probs. I have decided to avoid that problem by taking sleeping pills with the tamoxifen so I am missing all the hot flashes etc. However 4weeks on and my biggest problem is that I seem to sensitive to the the tablets and my mood has noticeably changed. I am really cross all of the time, so out of character cross that I know its the tamoxifen. I hate being like this, I snap at people before I can think even about it. Really not like me. Anyone find any sort of remedy to deal with mood changes while on tamoxifen????

Well, I'm in to hospital next week for my long awaited reconstruction and I can't wait. I have felt so lost without my boob. Any advice for me ladies? Am having the DIEP flap so looking forward to a slimmer tummy too I know there will be some pain ahead but I really feel that I can finally start to move forward now...

hi i am new to this board,i went to the breast clinic on 6 feb ,had the mamogran ,ultra sound and biospy done that day ,went back the following week and the thickining i went in with is benign but the found cancer about 2 cm size ,surgeon was talking about an operation this thursday ,had a mri last wednesday and this showed up my lympnodes so had a biopsy on them last thursday,will see the surgeon tomorrow for results from the biopsy no surgery now, i need more bloods done and am waiting on appointments for a cat scan and a bone scan ,the name of the cancer is invasive lobular, is it routine to do a bone scan ,anyone any idea of waiting times for these tests .I am attending James and keeping my self calm ,not always but most of the time.