“When I was 21, my mother’s sister Geraldine passed away from breast cancer,” says Anne-Marie, who lives in Co Mayo. “She was only 39 and she left two very young children behind who were only five and seven years old. It’s only now that I’m a similar age myself, and my kids are the same age as hers were, that I’m fully appreciating the enormous impact it had.”

Anne-Marie got married in 2009, the same year her mother became unwell. “She had some bloating and she was in and out to the doctor. She thought she had a kidney infection,” recalls Anne-Marie. “She was sent for a scan and she was diagnosed with womb cancer.” Following a hysterectomy and radiotherapy, her mother was doing better but in June 2010, tests showed that the cancer had returned. “That was a hard knock to take,” says Anne-Marie.

In July 2013, Anne-Marie announced her pregnancy. “We were on cloud nine because it didn’t happen overnight for us,” she says. “The family were just so excited. My Mam was quite sick at the time but I remember us all going out for a meal and she was able to celebrate with us. She was truly over the moon for us.”

 That September 2013, Anne-Marie’s husband Martin started complaining of being tired. He contemplated leaving his job because he felt so exhausted, and he was bruising more easily. He became very ill at work one day and finally went to his doctor. His GP sent him straight to hospital in Castlebar and the following day he was rushed to Galway University Hospital.

“He told me he was in St Joseph’s ward. I was pregnant and my brother-in-law drove me to Galway.  I remember looking at all the ward names and seeing St Josephs, and in brackets after the name it said ‘Oncology’. I’ll never forget that as I knew what that meant,” says Anne-Marie. “Martin was diagnosed with leukaemia. It was just one of those years that you look back and ask ‘how did we actually get through it?’ But you just do. You don’t have a choice and you have to soldier on.”

After six months of treatment, Martin was given the all clear and their baby boy Mattie was born around the same time. “We’ve an awful lot to grateful for,” Anne-Marie says. “Martin’s health is wonderful and he hasn’t looked back.” They welcomed our second son Shane in 2016.

During her mother’s illness, she and Anne-Marie used some of the services offered by Rock Rose House in Castlebar, which is supported by the Irish Cancer Society. “We went several times for reflexology, massages and counselling, and also did a fantastic course called the Vision Programme.”

Sadly, Anne-Marie’s mother Nonie passed away in November 2013. At the time, Anne-Marie put on a brave face but the guidance that she now gives friends who are going through similar experiences is that you can be honest about how you feel.

“It’s ok to say that this is really hard and I think that’s an important message,” says Anne-Marie. “It is a grief you learn to live with – she was the heart of our family, it is a different life without your mother.”

“Now, if I met a stranger and my Mam came up in conversation, I would say that I really miss her and that it’s hard. I was nearly too positive before, saying I was fine.

“Sometimes it’s good to be completely honest and to say that it’s tough and that I miss her every day. What I would also say to people is to take each day as it comes and sometimes it’s about just putting one foot in front of the other. Reach out to family and friends for support. Be kind to yourself.”