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I am looking for advice from people who have experience caring for a relative - about how feasible it is to start a full time course and look after my dad. My Dad has been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer in both lungs. We have no details of the treatment options for him yet, but I need to make a decision regarding my college degree course that I am due to start this week. I am a mature student going back to university full time this week as the start of a complete career change, and I do not know whether to defer for a year. If his cancer is terminal I want to be in a position to spend as much time with my dad as possible, and as he lives a 4 hour drive from my home in Dublin I don't see how I could do that with a full time college course. If his cancer is treatable he will be based in Dublin and it could be more do-able. I have experience of helping look after my sister when she had (and sadly, died from) cancer last year. At that time I was working full time, and while I found it difficult to come home to be supportive of her after a days work sometime, I think I will find it more difficult to be a student in this situation because it requires alot of mental focus and energy, and it is not confined to a 9 to 5 time frame. My sister is not working and is available to help caring for him, but it is just the two of us. Neither of us have children and our own families yet, and If I was to defer I would be able to support myself. How do other families manage? Please share your experiences with me! Thank you so much

Hi All, Hope you are doing well and that the seminar in Dublin was informative. Would have loved to go but was fortunate to get picked for casting for recovery weekend in Antrim (fly fishing retreat for breast cancer survivors) Recommend to you all to apply for a place sometime. Google casting for recovery and you will see info and application form. We had great fun and laughed so much. Brill to talk to other women with the same problems and we all caught fish inspite of our rubbish techiques. Anyhow back to my question. I have not been on here for ages as been feeling rough with severe back pain. Eventually after a year of complaining of this pain (negative MRI) I asked for Dexa scan and it shows advanced osteoporosis in my spine. My Gp who I only go to when desparate is unsympathetic to various symptom issues since diagnosis and told me I was lucky I had breast cancer and not another cancer which is less treatable. I'm not feeling very lucky and would like to change to a Gp who is more understanding. Does anyone have any recommendations for a Gp central Dublin who is knowledgeable, proactive and caring? Many Thanks A

My partner is just finished his second round of chemo and has gained 2 stone in a week from fluid. His body is swollen, feet, ankles face, and he is so uncomfortable but no hair loss, other side effects are lack of taste. How long before he loses this excess weight.?

Hi I am new to this and trying to do a little research for friend needing a mastectomy and breast reconstruction. It is helpful to read about the various options and opinions on different reconstruction types. The consultant mentioned a proceedure involving a product called strattice. It allows the surgeon to create a type of internal bra without having to under go an autologous proceedure. It means she only needs one reconstruction op and does not have to sacrifice another part of her body. Recovery time is less and she gets to leave the hospital with a fully reconstructed breast. It has been used in the states for a number of years. He said it has been used in Ireland now for the past year with great results. I have dug up a lot of info (see link below) and everything seems really positive. I was just wondering if anyone in Ireland has heard of it or could recommend the proceedure? http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/foru ... 27482.html http://www.breastreconstructionmatters. ... sue-matrix (Alloderm is the American version. Same company does Strattice) Thnak you

Hi everyone, My name is Gavin Deady. I am a doctoral researcher in the Department of Socciology at NUI Maynooth. My research explores the lived experience of prostate cancer, and how men use online help and support services. I am particularly interested into when and why men begin to use online support services. I am also interested to understand how men support each other online. How does online support differ from face to face support? I would be interested in hearing from any men interested in contributing to the study. You can contact me by email at gavin.deady@gmail.com Please feel free to give your impressions and opinions as you see fit. Everyone is guaranteed the highest level of confidentaility and anonymity, and I hope you will consider making a contribution. If you have any concerns or questions, please feel free to email me. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Regards, Gavin Deady

hi heading towards my 3rd of 6 f.e.c chemo. managing ok. usual side effects no hair, wierd head and funny tummy. my daughter due date falls on the day of my 5th chemo. she lives 4 hours away and both of us are anxious that i be there if i can. dont think that i would be able to drive myself but will get there some how if only to hold her hand.b she knows no one where she lives in the countyrside. i have asked several people.... do the side effects get worse as the chemo goes on? most say yes especially the tiredness. my nurse also implied this. i know everyones different but whats your experrience? i dont want to make false promises and will need to arrange for some one else to be there. getting excited about being 1st time granny. thanks L

Hi everyone . . . I am finally back. I was hit hard with depression when I finished my chemo so have been quiet on site. i still thought about you all and any new people in our "exclusive club". I am now 14 mths since mastectomy and 7 months finished chemo. I found I really needed the counselling to lift my mood. I had to start by admitting I had cancer, I used talk about it in the third person. The hair is fully back as thick as ever lol but more curly and I want it straight. The hot flushes have calmed down too or maybe it's the weather. Have not managed to loose any of the weight I gained but I live in hope. Love to you all Evelyn Oh forget to tell ye have moved house in the middle of all this

Hi. I have just under gone 2 surgery for breast cancer. I keep telling everyone about the lady who was on T.V3 morning programme before the sschool broke up for summer. She was talking about an event that she was organising to raise money. She described how she had found out how she had breast cancer. I was trying to get the children breakfast and myself out to work (mad house!!!!!) but what she said stuck in my head. Oh thankfully it did because Aug bank holiday I discovered a lump. I want to thank this lady for her courage to go on t.v and only for her I may not have listened to what my body was telling me. so if any of ye out there know her pass on the message that I and my familly want to say a huge THANK YOU eunice

COPING WITH A TERMINALLY ILL PARENT-MY STORY Everyones experience in this situation will be different , I simply want to put my story out there so you know you are not alone in this and maybe give you some things to think about as you go through your experience. My mother Dorothy was diagnosed in May 2007.She had previously suffered from cancer around 10 years previous. I could not believe my ears, cancer again so many years later?It couldnt be true. But sadly it was and so followed what became and what will become for you reading this, a tough time ahead. Put simply thats what it is. Knowing what I know now because Ive gone through it in my own family and have come out the other side, there are things that Im proud of myself for and things I regret so Im am writing this so that you don’t have the same regrets as me. From the moment the oncologist speaks those feared words, you may find yourself go into automatic, which is what happened in my case. There was not much time to think about the finality of the situation or to get morbid about it-I automatically knew that it was all about making my mother happy and as comfortable as possible while we had her.Obviously there will be days when all you want to do is cry all day long and by all means, do. I always did this out of eye and earshot from my mother as seeing me cry would once again bring home the finality of it all. SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN WITH HIM/HER: Luckily my employers allowed me to decrese my hours so I was able to spend more time with her. I truly cherished every second with her. I would lie in bed beside her and even though, just talking about mundane things such as the local gossip, it filled a hole in the day for her and made me happy to think that even for just those few minutes, I was able to temporarily take her mind off her illness. Even when there was nothing to say, I just laid beside her and hugged her and held her hand and that bond is something Ill never forget.Those are the moments that I cherish now looking back. There was no need for words, she knew that I was there for her and I knew that she deeply appreciated my time for her. At the time, for myself personally, I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable by reading leaflets on dying and grieving etc. While these are all truly helpful, I think that a leaflet from the heart such as this may have helped me a bit more at the time as its personal.Afterall,I am just a normal 28 year old woman from a small rural part of Limerick with just my experience to base this on. MY ONLY REGRET: Even though I am so proud of myself for the way I coped with her illness at the time and I guess, for the way I am coping today, what I do regret is not finding out more about her while I could. And now that shes gone, there are 101 questions that I think of everyday that I would have loved to know about her. Like her life growing up, her first boyfriend, school, her wedding day, coping with four children and of course the big one-how she felt about her illness. While some terminally ill patients may have no trouble expressing their feelings and I admire them if they do, my mother was a quiet woman who never spoke of her illness and who never wanted to “burden” her children with any of her problems and I feel now that I should have encouraged her to speak more. I am so sorry for you reading this as I know what an intense and scary time it is for you and your family right now and most especially for your mother/father. Unfortunately in life, you have to deal with the cards you have been dealt and although cruel and unfair, right now is a good time to assess yourself, I bet already you are alot stronger than what you thought you were. You just dont know it yet. Please live for the moment right now with your mother/father. Hug him/her, kiss him/her,love him/her, help him/her, live for him/her. Take family photos,laugh together, cry together and never ever forget that you exist because of them. My thoughts are prayers are with you all. Sarah Dunne.

I have been diagnosed with B.A.C. the best cancer you can have so I have been informed. Would like to chat with other people who would like to share experiences, at the moment I have a cough that comes and goes. Very little is known about this cancer. I have had B.A.C since 2010, in 1998 I had my left lower lobe removed. In 2004 a shadow was seen and I was informed that this was pneumonia, however I have now been informed that this infact this B.A.C. so you can say I have had B.A.C since that date. F illing well as I do, it's like carrying a time bomb in my chest, every time I cough I think this is it time to book the fare well party. Positive side is that I have the support of my partner and family members and I filling great. Any one out there who wants to chat.