How can I support my Dad

June 15, 2017 - 11:34

Hi there. My Dad has been diagnosed with secondary liver cancer. We are waiting to see the Oncologist next week so its a waiting game until then. I'm hoping someone here might be able to give me some tips on supporting Dad during this time. He is doing pretty ok - very tired and in some pain but I think his head is wrecked worrying about us and Mum. He is making lists of things to do and has starting clearing out some of his clothes. It is keeping him busy but also feels somewhat sinister.
Please get in touch if you have any experience or thoughts.
Thanks you

June 20, 2017 - 10:45

Hi there,

I see that unfortunately you haven't had any replies to your post yet at what must be a very difficult time. If you would like to speak to one of the Irish Cancer Society nurses please don't hesitate to contact the Cancer Nurseline on 1800 200 700 Monday - Friday 10am to 4pm

Kind regards,
Cancer Nurseline

July 4, 2017 - 09:24

Hi SligoMiss, I came onto this website to post almost exactly what you have! My Dad was told on Friday that his cancer has metastisised to number of new places and his fighting spirit has now all but vanished. We are all heartbroken but , had he not been told, he was actually feeling quite well and his appetite had returned etc but now his spirit is broken with him staring his future in the face. My Mum is also struggling as we had been led to believe that his treatment was working. How can we support him and her at this difficult time was my question, given that we are all heartbroken too? It's important not to start grieving while he is still here but how can I relay that to him??

July 17, 2017 - 09:48

Hi Crawford. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s really really tough and don’t underestimate that. My Dad died a week after my post so I have only a small piece of advice for you - spend time with him and your Mum. My Dad was very worried about all of us and of course confused and sad that he was sick so we just put our smiles on and tried to be as normal as possible. We constantly reassured him we were all doing ok and that everything was fine and not to worry about us. I gave up work for the period and was with him every single day… simple things like holding his hand, saying a few prayers with him and generally making sure he was as comfortable as could be was all we did really. He had some bad days with the morphine and I think knowing that when he opened his eyes one of us was there to get him some water, brush his hair or help him to the loo was good consolation. It took its Toll on my Mum too so we made sure she got out for a walk, got her hair done and also “gave her the morning off” from the hospital. She is very house proud so even a couple of hours alone with the hoover seemed to do wonders for her 
Be gentle with yourself and believe me everything you do from the heart for your Dad and Mum will help him and you.