thoughts
okay this cancer lark takes its toll on everyone not just me or whoever has tis disease but those around us !!!!!! maybe its justme but i keep my feelings close as u dont want those u love to know how vunerable we really are ( is that just me) to die no problem im 37 had it ok won titles in the ring was a good honest person thats fine my fear is not cancer ! its losing those close to me sometimes they and others dont understand that!i miss life ,imiss walks imiss the beach imiss me , dont worry it aint ovr i will be back abetter model as they say but its amazing how something like this opens ur eyes to people u learn a lot, for anyone out there who feels low never give up,next week for me is huge more mri results etc whats causing the pain and all that lark,nervous yes ,scared yes ,will i win yes, maybe this makes no sense to anyone but i dont care i needed to rant.
Comments
hey there,
i too am in the process of waiting on results. i am finished my treatment for cerviical cancer and im so DONE. i cant imagine now that its not gone that i may have to have major surgery to remove my gynae organs plus my bladder and bowel...this bein worse case scenario. why do they always tell you the worst case.
i wish i had your fighting spirit, i wish that i could say that i will win this fight. i have fought the fight all year and now again im back to square one waiting to hear if its good news or not.
the fight is s hard, more emotionally that physically. physically i can take anything now after what ive bein through this year. but emotionally i dont think i can really take any more.
i have two babies, a 2year old and a 9mth old baby who saved my life...i know that i need to fight for them more than anything.
i too feel so scared of death and missing out on life, i am only31 years young. how can i be fighting for my life???????? there is too much yet to see and to do for me and my lovely little family.
i too miss the things i used to do the person i used to be...where did she go? can she ever come back?
a very low mummy...bren x
Hi Bren,
I can't imagine what you're going through at the moment, however I know that it's *VERY, VERY* hard....and likely to be as hard for those who care for you.
Most of us here are going, or have been, through our own 'nightmares' and we are here to tell the tale. You are going through sh1te at the moment - it's ok to be scared and worried and lose sleep and all of those things - you wouldn't be 'normal' if you weren't feeling like that.
As regards missing out on life and missing the things you used to do, it's ok to have these regrets too. You ARE in a hard place - please God you will win the fight. Appreciate those who care for you and, especially, your two kids - they must be a handful (especially right now)
The person you used to be? She's still there... many things have changed...You certainly will have changed when this 'Journey' is over. In time you may view the changes as positive, though there will be losses too.
I get a sense that you are giving this everything. Keep it up! There will be hard days and good days.....it's like 'snakes & ladders' ....hopefully you won't have too many snakes.
Btw..if you haven't done so already, it might be an idea to call the Irish Cancer Soc's Helpline on 1800-200-700, or maybe call in to one of the many Cancer support centres ICS/ARC/Solas/whatever.
Good luck on your 'Journey'
John
Hi,
Waiting is the worse part of the long journey. sometimes it feels like you are sitting on the fence just watching everything and everyone rushing around and you are at a stand still. we all ask why me and why now? But believe me this will pass and although people will say your life is back to normal, you live your life a different way because you see things differently.
If I had a pound for every time i was told to be postive I would be really rich!!! But it is the only way. have postive people around you, someone to make you laugh, some one to cry with and people who are your friend for you. I found out how my friends where and they have been great. this forum is great cause you can write what you want and let it all out.
good luck and let us know how you are getting on.
sunflower
Hi
Just read your post. You are an inspiration to anyone.With an attitude like yours you are on a winner.Keep it up. When the the fight is in you you will beat this beast
Best of love & Luck
Franny
Hi Garry,
With modern technology, cancer is being diagnosed earlier and people are living longer and therefore we hear a lot more about cancer.
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing pain and undergoing tests. It can be very stressful waiting for test results. Cancer generally is more common in the older person and there may be other medical reasons for your pain.
The Irish Cancer Society has a freefone helpline 1800-200-700 and you can speak in confidence to a specialist nurse with your concerns. We may also be able to advise you on further help such as counselling or support groups who offer complementary therapies which are used to promote well-being. Our helpline is open from 9-7pm, Monday to Thursday and Friday from 9am to 5pm.
I hope this has been of some help,
With best wishes,
Cancer Information Service Nurse.