Caring for someone with cancer
posted by paulb
11 September 2019


Last reply: 5 months ago

Hello to all the beautiful people in this fabulous community.

My wife was diagnosed with CUP June 2018 6 months after we got married.

She was at the recent seminar in the Red Cow last Sat 7th September, thank you to all who gave their time she enjoyed her day and especially the choir at the end, there wasn't a dry eye leaving.

One of the workshops that really has been playing on her mind "Living Life with Metastatic (Secondary) Cancer

You see, my wife Davinia has been diagnosed with such CUP metastatic in her lymph nodes?

We hear all these stats and figures of 5 years etc. ( I tend to stay away from Dr Google). and it all can be really confusing for her.

Over the past 18months, she has been through 47 chemo sessions and 11 radiation sessions,

Recently been told that the Avasten with her Chemo this time round has been good and there has been a significant improvement so she has been given 3 months break from chemo but still continue Avasten every 3 weeks.

The significant improvement in her since her 3 weeks stay in hospital in June has been two-fold, energy levels coming back, being able to be a mother again dropping our sons to school and catching up with friends etc, getting massive compliments of the wigs she wears and able to pull off the different colours lol!!!

Unfortunately, night time is not a good time for her.. Her thoughts run away with her.... I am up with her in the middle of the night most nights when I hear her crying and scared, we even sleep with the light on to try to give her some comfort.

It is confusing for me and can be frustrating when I see her doing so well regarding energy levels and her appetite is back to somewhat normal???

I say to her she should be proud of the battle she is winning and the progress she has made this year...

Gary Kelly Centre in Drogheda has been tremendous support for her as the hospital (Beaumont)

I am trying to be a light of positivity for my wife and our children but can be so hard when she hears the words metastatic which she then implies she doesn't have long left to live???

I hope I can open up a conversation here with both people who are diagnosed and partners who are caring for them.

Talk Soon

1 comment


commented by Irish Cancer Society
16 September 2019

5 months ago


Dear Paul,

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to read of your wife Davina’s diagnosis but I’m glad that her treatment is working and she is starting to feel better in herself, it must be very tough 18 months for you and your family. Having a cancer diagnosis creates a lot of fear and anxiety, we recommend to discuss these fears with a counsellor or your GP to explore what management options are available. If you would like to speak with a cancer nurse for any advice or support please call our Nurseline on 1800200700

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