Caring for someone with cancer
posted by Anisa
21 January 2022

Supporting my mam

Last reply: 3 months ago

My mam was diagnosed with Stage 4 Uterine Cancer and has had 4 infusions of chemo - she got Covid in December and was hospitalised, our Christmas miracle is that she survived. She had re 4th chemo last week and she's not drinking her required fluids and isn't eating much (she's drinking those food sup drinks so that is something) but she was so bad the other day she needed to get 2 bags of fluids as she was so dehydrated. It is breaking my heart that she's not doing what she's supposed to do to help herself it's like she's given up - I think the 11 days in a Covid ward really affected her mental state. I know chemo affects peoples personality but OMG she's changed so badly she is awfully bad towards my poor dad who is only doing his best to care for her, I broke down in tears with her the other day begging her to drink her water to help.. it's like she has given up and doesn't care about living or her family. I can't bare looking at her knowing she is not doing the bare min to keep herself alive. She won't go to counselling, she tells the chemo team everything is fine, what can I do to help her

1 comment

Comments

commented by Cancer Nurse
26 January 2022

3 months ago

Dear Anisa

Thank you for posting a message on our online community. I am very sorry to read of the difficult time you, your Mam & your Dad are going through. I do hope you will hear from others here and their experiences. It must be so hard for you.

You are doing everything you can to support your Mam. It is obvious from your message that you love your Mam very much and that it is really upsetting you to see your Mam losing heart. I wonder would your Dad ring your Mam’s nurse specialist and tell her about these concerns. They may be able to talk to your Mam about seeing a psychologist in the hospital. Given all that your Mam has gone through and is currently going through lacking in motivation and feeling down and possibly frustrated are very understandable but difficult for you to help your Mam with these emotions. We are all cancer nurses on our support line and would very much like to support you at this time. You might find that if your Mam doesn’t want to see a counsellor that you might find it beneficial to talk to a counsellor about how to mind yourself during this distressing time. This is something we could arrange for you over the phone. Our number is 1800 200 700 and we are here Mon- Fri 9-5pm. We can also post to you our book called ‘Caring for someone with cancer’ which has a section in it around talking to someone with cancer see here

I do hope we will hear from you.

Kind regards

Cancer Nurse

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