Caring for someone with cancer
posted by tinytrina
25 February 2021

My partner has newly diagnosed with tongue and throat cancer

Last reply: 12 days ago


I’m new here

My partner got diagnosed with tongue and throat cancer last week, we have 6 young children and both work, his cancer came as a shock like most, he’s awaiting surgery and has. More tests this week, he has become very ill really quickly which I’m struggling with he’s losing weight and is becoming very tired and his pain is getting worst.

I want to support him as much as I can, I will be his main carer is there anyone going through the same thing caring for a loved one, I would like to make new friends going through this journey and we could support each other, what other support can I give my partner I’m feeling lost at the moment



commented by Sonny
27 February 2021

2 months ago

Hi firsr of all i want to say that OK now what you're going through and i understand how frightening this is for you. I have a teenager, preteen and a toddler. My partner was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive type of colon cancer just before Christmas. He like your husband went downhill very quickly and after Christmas needed to go into hospital for treatment as he'd lost too much weight and was malnourished he also needed blood transfusions. If your husband gets too malnourished etc you may need to send him into hospital. John's tumor was removed about a week after they treated him. He's getting better slowly.
when his infection in his bowel is gone (which he got in hospital) he will start 6 months of chemo. Do you gave a date for surgery?

commented by tinytrina
17 April 2021

27 days ago

Sorry I’m only replying now, we are over surgery 7 weeks ago and treatment is starting in 2 weeks time down in st Luke’s for radiotherapy and then st Vincent’s for chemotherapy, it’s quite a scary time.

commented by LJH
02 May 2021

12 days ago

I know how your feeling. I still have built up the confidence on this to post so well done for your bravery. I am going through it. My wife was diagnosed last month and started treatment this week. I feel helpless all the time we have family over all the time but they get to go home. And when they are gone I'm constantly worrying whether I'm doing enough for my wife or not and then I'm worrying I'm doing to much and smothering her and then I'm just flat out worried about her health and her getting through all this and what I can do to make all easier for her. It's like walking a tightrope while juggling plates while your heart is breaking and then feeling selfish for feeling upset when they are the ones going through cancer. I'm here if you need a chat or to vent 💗

commented by Sonny
27 February 2021

2 months ago

Sorry the beginning of my message should have said I understand what you're going through and that I am also the sole carer for my partner.

© Irish Cancer Society 1999-2021 All Rights Reserved

Irish Cancer Society Head office, 43/45 Northumberland Road Dublin, D04 VX65; Charity Regulatory Authority No. 20009502; Revenue Number CHY5863; Company Number 20868.