Caring for someone with cancer
posted by Oran379
19 March 2020

Emotional support for my Mum

Last reply: 25 March 2020 15:01

Hi there,
I’m looking for any advice/ideas for how my family and I can help my Mother’s mental/emotional state, which has taken a dramatic decline in the past few weeks. Mum was diagnosed with terminal stage 3 non small cell lung cancer last September. Since then, she has endured 5 rounds of carbo/taxol and 1 round of immunotherapy. She has suffered every symptom and has had to be hospitalised after each and every treatment received. During her most recent stay in hospital (last week!) her Doctors suggested taking a few months off from treatment all together because it’s making her so ill. They will assess again in 8 weeks but indicated to Mum that they cannot continue with treatment when it is having such adverse side effects. This seems to have signalled the end to Mum, and we fear that she is throwing in the towel. She isn’t bothering to eat at all this week, and though we are a very close family who freely talk about feelings, Mum is barely speaking to any of us. She seems deeply deeply depressed and we are heart broken. We would desperately love for her to talk to somebody experienced (and think she may be open to counselling) but we do not know where to turn and are unsure about what services are currently active or even accessible to her given the situation with COVID. We are beyond devastated....any/all suggestions for my Mum are welcome. Many thanks x

2 comments

Comments

commented by Jodie bettles
20 March 2020

20 March 2020 20:05

Hi. Sorry to hear about your mom. My mom has cancer in the lining of her stomach which has now sadly spread to her liver and bowel. The chemo she had been on since last November didn't work. Her oncologist told her last week she has months but he wants to see her back in April. The last few days she has had pains in her stomach. She hasn't gone to the toilet. I spoke to her today on the phone and it was like she didn't care anymore. It's so heartbreaking to watch. My dad is trying everything he can foe her but it's like she's not listening

commented by Cancer Nurse
25 March 2020

25 March 2020 15:01

Dear Oran

This must be an extremely difficult time for you and your Mum. On top of all that your Mum has to deal with the added burden and restriction due to the corona virus.

The Irish Cancer Society has both a cancer Nurseline and professional counselling to support you during this time. Our counselling service has been modified to facilitate the current situation and you and/or your mother can avail of this through our Nurseline. The counselling will be by phone/skype or face time. Do phone our Nurseline at 1800 200 700 we are available Mon-Thurs 9-8pm and Fri. Sat. & Sunday 9-5pm and we can arrange counselling.

Meanwhile you might like to show your Mum the YouTube video here on our site.

Kind regards      

 

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