Caring for someone with cancer
posted by Amandacat
15 December 2023

Anger issues and how to cope

Last reply: 18 December 2023 16:08

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 3 weeks ago, spread to ribs and breast bone. He is 79 and is very very frail so would not be able for treatment. He is experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations atm The palliative team have referred him back to hospital for urgent hypercalcemia treatment. My question is while i understand that it is so scary for him right now and with not feeling well and in pain his mood is bound to be low but he is getting very verbally aggressive with my brother (his main carer as my brother and his family live with him). He is taking out all his anger on him. Blaming him for him getting cancer because he called the ambulance the 1st night. Fighting with him constantly. This is having a real adverse effect in my brother's mental health. He isnt like that with me as I'm not there 24/7. Apart from me telling my brother to not take it personal as its based out of fear and to remove himself from the room when my dad gets this way, is there anything else i can suggest?
Many thanks

1 comment


commented by Cancer Nurse
18 December 2023

18 December 2023 16:08

Hi Amandacat, 

Thank you for your post. 

I am sorry to read that your dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer recently and the impact that his diagnosis is having on your dad, your brother and all your family. 

 It is good that the palliative care team have referred your dad back to the hospital for hypercalcemia treatment. 

There are supports that may be available for your brother. I wonder if you or your brother would be able to phone one of our nurses on the Support Line. We could chat about how your dad is and let you know about supports that are available for you all. Our Support Line number is 1800 200 700, Monday – Friday, 9am – 5pm. 

I do hope that you or your brother are able to contact us. 

Kind regards, 

Cancer Nurse


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