Started rads today

Hi Wicklow lady,
Hopefully the first day was just a bit stressful and you'll settle into it. I suppose it's back to reality after your holiday when you go back to the hospital.
I hope the physio sorts out your leg that pain would be enough to drag your mood down. You deserve an oul moan sometimes your always so positive on this site.
Your weekend away with the girls will lift your spirits and you'll be ready for the next few weeks.
Good luck with it all hope the radiotherapy will be okay and have a great weekend away.
Bernie xx

Thanks yaya I am better today. I had to laugh as the machine broke down and they had to cover me up when the engineer came in with his screwdriver. I went and had a patch test done in the hairdressers so ill get it dyed on Friday. It was weird going back in to where I got the wig all those months ago. Looking forward to physio I'd say I've something like shin splints and I hope they can fix it for me.

Hi Wicklow Lady,

The only cotton bras that I found were from the "cross your heart" range beginning with P. No advertising allowed, so I have to make this cryptic.

Good luck, you're getting close to the finishing post!

Hugs

Kath

Oh great ...tex I take it. It's not easy to get one. Yes I am just gets on top of you occasionally . You see everyone else doing the mundane things like going to work etc and you're heading to hospital every day but it's only until may so ill be fine. Going to get counselling next week

Hi Wicklow Lady,

Full marks in the guessing game

I know how you feel. Sometimes I'm fine and then suddenly I am overwhelmed by it all. Coming back from Lanzarote (spelling ?) has made this even more of a shock for you.

Hugs

Kath

Haha I'm good. Yes lanzarote (right spelling lol) put me in the normal world for a week which made me forget especially when I'd got rid of the wig then it was slap back into hospitals again. It does give you the licence to cry when you want to though, no questions asked

Hi Wiclow Lady

Well done on reaching yet another milestone in this "journey". Your sentiments resonated with me. I remember thinking that once I get over chemo and surgery I will be fine and " normal" , but that wasn't the case, like you I had bad days with radiation, not beacuse it caused any pain but more because it was a daily reminder of cancer and on occasions seemed relentless. You so deserve to have a good aul moan when you feel like it. I am laughing here at the thought of you lying there with an electirican fixing the machine. That is so funny and just goes to show that normal life does go on and even high tech equipment breaks down!! I will tell you though that once I finished radiation my new life really took off. I joined an excercise programme with DCU and it made me really believe that I was a new normal if that makes sense, albeit that the joint pain and hot flushes from Tamoxifen would drive you to distraction. I also visited my local cancer support group every week. I finished all my treatments last September and am now back at work on a part time basis. Dont get me wrong, I still get bad days but sure I had plenty of those before cancer !!!
On another note, I noticed you commenting on difficulty in getting a cotton bra, I got mine through the hospital but most days if I was coming straight home after rads, I just wore a cotton vest, particularly in the later stages when my skin started to get a bit red. If at all possible and without getting yourself arrested try to have at least one period every day where you wear nothing on top just so your skin can breathe . I did this every day and thankfully I never had any problems with burns. I am not sure where you are going to have your radiation but I was given the opportunity to see a psychologist that specialises in oncology and she was fantastic, really helped me to sort my chemo brain out!!!
You are doing so well and it wont be too long when it will become a distant memory
Sinéad

I am half way through the rads now and on tamoxifen for about 8wks now. I am not sure if it is the tamoxifen (which makes me really cross) but I am really annoyed about the tattoo marks! After all the trouble the plastic surgeon went to, to give me a "cleavage" they go and put a blue dot right in the centre! Why can't they just move the damn ceiling laser down 2 inches to put the tattoo along the bra line so that it wouldn't be visible every day! For some reason I am having real trouble with this. I try to be reasonable and tell myself that if the small tattoo is the only damage I come away with after all this I should count myself lucky. I am really considering asking the plastic surgeon to cut it out during my next surgery!! Anyone else have hatred like this for the tattoos? Maybe it's just a tamoxifen rage..

Hi ania
I had to laugh when I read your post I too cannot stand the tattoo mark it is ugly I remember saying this to my family and they looked at me as if I had two heads. I honestly think tamoxifen does affect your moods.
Liz

I can't see my tattoos??? Where you having your rads ania?

You can't see your tattoo!? Mine is smack bang centre of my chest, and it's navy! So it is real obvious. I think the best thing to do is cut it out. I know they are going to advise against it, because my high risk of reoccurrence, but I would prefer a small scar that will fade compared to a "well placed navy freckle"

Had a look in the mirror and it's tiny like a ball point pen mark but tiny. In the great scheme of things it doesn't bother me if that's all I'm left with after all this I say happy days. I'm gone past the age for cleavages anyway lol

Yeah that is what I am trying to tell myself, I guess I feel a bit sorry for myself, i feel like with the double mastectomy I have had to give up a lot, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to look "normal", covering up scars all over the place (I have quite a collection now) but this freckle shows up when I wear some of my t shirts so neve mind any of my nice dresses! Just don't know if I can live with the constant reminder in my face everyday, I would rather try get to get on with my life and try forget this year altogether! ;( sorry moany month! Not sure if I can handle this tamoxifen at all!

Try and think of the scars as a sign that we have been fixed I know it's hard.