Breast cancer
posted by mimimac
14 November 2023


Last reply: 19 November 2023 19:37

I'm struggling with the knowledge that everyone in my town will be aware of my situation..I know having breast cancer and being at the start of my journey should make me not care, but I deeply dread people other than my immediate family knowing. Everyone knows Everyone here and what they don't know they make up, my own brother in law would tell everyone and embellish the facts for shock factor and while I have wonderful friends I don't want any help right now as Im still trying to process everything. I'm quite private and feel more in control if no one knows ,so I can still go shopping or my kids school without looks and constant attention. Ireland is a small country so I'm aware that when I start radiation I'll probably meet people I know, but how do I still keep control and keep people at a distance without offending anyone. Sorry for the huge essay



commented by clare81
17 November 2023

17 November 2023 11:37

Hi mimimac,

I am sorry to hear that you have BC and that you are feeling this way. I was diagnosed on Wednesday with invasive ductal carcinoma and invasive lobular BC.

I have told my family and friends and after that I am not concerned who knows. I always tell my children, what other people think of us is none of our business... It doesn't affect who we are or what our close family and friends think of us. I know living in a small town can be hard and everyone has opinion but right now you should just be focusing on no.1 - yourself and no.2 the people who love you. Fighting cancer is nothing to be ashamed of and I would imagine 99% of people will just think you are strong and brave.
Please use the forums for support. I've also been listening to "more than a lump" podcast , very informative and inspiring to hear positive stories.
Please try to put the opinions of others out of your mind and just focus on yourself. Be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time.

Good luck. X

commented by Cancer Nurse
17 November 2023

17 November 2023 15:42

Hi mimimac,
Thank you for posting to the online community. I do hope you receive some responses soon.

I am sorry to read that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. This must be a difficult time for you as you try to process everything. It is an added stress then trying to keep things private amid the worry that those close to you may not respect your right to privacy. It may help when speaking to your immediate family to tell them that you wish to keep this private and within the family to allow you time to process it.

Everyone copes with a cancer diagnosis in their own way so do not worry about offending people if you need to keep some distance. I have attached some information from our website here on coping with a cancer diagnosis, that may be helpful. It can help to talk to someone about how you are feeling so if you would like to speak in confidence to one of our cancer nurses you can call our Support Line on Freephone 1800 200 700, Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm.

Kind regards,
Cancer Nurse

commented by Wishuwell
19 November 2023

19 November 2023 19:37

Hi mimimac

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis, it is such a tough time in every way. I like to process things myself before sharing them and have explained this to those around me.
Like you I'm a very private person and when I was diagnosed with cancer I shared the news with my family & close friends and asked them not to share much information with others only that if anybody asked I was sick but receiving treatment and doing well. They respected that

I did find it difficult wearing a wig and doing the schoolrun and later ditching my wig to reveal my new look pixie cut but if anything I have been met with so much kindness & support by people which has definitely helped us along the way.
It is for sure a rollercoaster but talking has definitely helped me and reaching out to the supports of the Irish Cancer society and Arc house have been an invaluable resource.
I hope your treatment goes well & surround yourself with those who love you xx

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