Just had enough of the drugs!!

Ladies, I desperately need your advice cos no one else understands!! I am 12 months into my cancer treatment, had chemo, surgery, rads and tamoxifen and I have just had enough! I'm done.

I have had severe reactions consistently throughout my treatment and because I was so young I was just told I was stressed out. During chemo at varying stages I lost the ability to speak and walk, my head has been melted from all the drugs and I am just not able to make decisions, or be independent essentially, my head is just so badly fogged from everything. Anyway tamoxifen was suppose to be my last treatment, I was on it and due to severe reactions it was stopped for 6 wks and I felt great, then tried it again and only lasted 4 wks on it and my tremor came back (started with chemo but faded slowly after 6months) so it has now been stopped again. I just can't take it anymore, I seem to be really sensitive to drugs and no matter what, I suffer side effects. I just want to be normal and get back to some sort of life but I can't do that on drugs.

I am going to tell my oncologist I have had enough and am refusing further treatment cos I can't take it anymore. I have had to give up my life for the last yr and am still waiting for final reconstruction in early oct but then I am off to aus to start again.

As far as I am aware the tamoxifen reduces my personal risk of reoccurrence from 15% to 10% which I personally think is useless to me cos if u get cancer in ur 20's there is no way I will get a forty year free pass, if its going to come back it will and I have a tried everything to give myself the best chance but enough is enough!

Ye know the pains associated with all the different medications and know that it's not easyi would like to hear your thought before I make radical decisions, any advice really appreciated!!!!