In memory
posted by dubgaz
05 February 2009

To the most wonderful aunt in the world

Last reply: 11 years ago

My beautiful, kind, caring, genorous aunt died this morning. I cant believe it. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in Dec 08 and the cancer just spread through her like wildfire. It wasnt enough that she was suffering from this but they she ended up having a heart attack and stroke on top of that. Up until last night she was stuck in a cubicle in A&E and it was heartbreaking to see her dying in such an environment. When she woke up she wasnt able to see us because the stroke distorted her vision.

She eventually was moved to an observation ward last night and after a few restless hours she went to sleep and never woke up. Im so angry that such a good woman had to suffer like this. She never did harm on anybody, was always helping other people and never asked for anything in return. There is about 200 mass cards in her house from friends and family. Thats how much she was loved.

She was like a second mother to me and I cant believe she is gone. Im in shock and dont know how I should be feeling. She had no kids, myself and my brothers were like her children. I want to cry but I cant. I just feel numb.



commented by snake-lady
09 February 2009

11 years ago

dear dubgaz, im sorry to read of your loss, i know how you feel as i went through the same thing with my dad in sept 08. dad was diagnosed only a few months before he died and i felt like id had no time to prepare myself for his lose. like your aunt, my dad wouldnt have hurt a fly and hed have given anyone his last penny if they needed it. its understandable that youre angry, there are so many not so nice people in the world and they just keep on going so why did this have to happen to such a lovely person? i wish i had an answer for that but i dont and i dont think its fair either, but even though its unfair, we just have to accept it and try to get on as best we can with our lose. thats why this site is so great, you will always find someone here to talk to and who understands what youre going through. i started a tag for anyone who has lost someone just so they can come and talk or get things off their chest, and, although it doesnt feel like it at the moment, it will get easier as time goes on and having someone to talk to helps. anyway if you need a chat or a good old rant and rave, please give us a shout on my tag, theres always someone there to answer you even if it does take a day or two. just know that im thinking of you and im sending you a cyber hug at this awful time, love and hugs, trisha.

commented by dubgaz
13 February 2009

11 years ago

Trisha... Thanks so much for your lovely reply. I havnt been on the site for a couple of days as we had my aunts funeral on Monday and things have been a bit hectic.

My mother and her sisters are still so angry about the conditions in which my aunt died. There was so much chaos and patients screaming and roaring that they never got any quiet time to say goodbye to her. To be honest I think that that anger is the only thing keeping my mother going at the moment. They are going to make a formal complaint to the hospital but I asked them to wait for a week or two until they have all their thoughts in order and know exactly what they want to say.

They rang my aunts cancer nurse FIVE times in the space of an hour on the day my aunt took her heart attack and stroke as they didnt want to call an ambulance and have my aunt in A and E. Unfortunately thats what they had to do as the cancer nurse never arrived. There is just so much bad stuff that went on in the treatment of my aunt that it would not be right to just let it go as we wouldnt want to see another family go through what my aunt did. My mother even took photos of my aunt as she lay dying to show in her complaint.

Anyway I returned to work today and am just counting the hours until I can go home and relax. At least I have the weekend to just chill out with my happy memories.


commented by snake-lady
16 February 2009

11 years ago

hi gary. i hope you had a good weekend after all the stuff youve been through lately. i understand why youre family are all angry about the circumstances surrounding your lovely aunts passing, my family went through the same when we lost dad. the day dad died, the doctors were going to take him to theatre to put a feeding tube into his stomach. supposedly this would have given him an extra few days but we chose to bring him home to die with a bit of dignity and we had to fight the docs to be allowed to do this. they made us feel guilty that we were taking him away from the care of the hospital even though he wanted to die at home. apparently the tumour he had was slow growing and had been there for about 2 years then the docs decided to investigate and within 3 months dad was dead. i feel that the hospital are responsible for my dads passing but hes gone now and theres nothing i can do but i felt the same as your aunts, i wanted justice for everything my dad suffered. you seem very level headed in wanting the family to wait a while before they do anything. i think thats for the best as at the moment youre all still grieving and thats not the best time to do or say anything. i really hope your family can find the strength to get them through this terrible time and my heart goes out to you all. like i said before, im here if you need to talk so i will close for now and hope to hear from you soon, love and hugs to you and your family, trisha x.

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