In memory
posted by snake-lady
07 October 2008

in memory of my dad, Derek Seaton.

Last reply: 25 September 2010 23:24

dad, i just hope you really are in a better place now as everyone keeps telling me. its not even a fortnight yet but i miss you so much im actually feeling physical pain. i would never want to bring you back to suffer again as i know your pain was horrific. i often wondered if i did the right thing in fighting the doctors to allow you to come home, but i think it was the right thing for you. i know you didnt want to die in hospital, but the doctor told us you would have a couple of days left if we kept you in hospital, instead you only got 10 mins at home before you left us and for that ive felt a lot of guilt. but if you hadnt got your last wish to die at home i think my guilt would be so much more. i have you in my heart and when i miss you i think of the good times before you got sick. i will look after mum as you wouldve wanted, ive been with her every day since you left us. she is devastated but we can help each other. im going to miss our wee walks together with you holding my arm and our drives in the car where you gave me the wrong directions and got us lost. in the end though you were just too ill to do any of that. anyway daddy, i just wanted to let you know that i will always love you and as the song says, youre in the arms of the angels. from your loving daughter patricia, sleep tight daddy.

5 comments

Comments

commented by snake-lady
08 November 2008

08 November 2008 13:34

its my birthday today dad, the big 40. its not the same without you, it never will be again. you used to spoil me rotten [even when it wasnt my birthday]. you would probably be mad at me for telling mum i didnt even want a card, but it wouldve been awful to get one without your name wrote on it. its just over 6 weeks since you left us, i miss you more each day. we recently found out that carrieanne is pregnant, youre gonna be a great grandad. shame the baby wont get a chance to know you but you will be there for him/her, i know that for a fact as i know youre still here for me. the kids miss you almost as much as me, but we know you couldnt stay with us and i wouldnt have wanted you to hang on any longer in pain. i suppose it was a blessing that you only lasted a few weeks, ive read some horror stories about people hanging on for months and i couldnt have watched you die like that. ive come to terms with the fact that i wont see you again in this life and that youre in a better place now, i think mum has too, shes still devastated but shes slowly coming to terms with it. anyway dad i just want to let you know that youre not forgotten and i will continue to love and miss you the same till i join you one day. sleep tight daddy, your loving daughter, patricia.

commented by snake-lady
12 December 2008

12 December 2008 12:08

hi dad, its almost christmas again. im not looking forward to it this year. you hated christmas anyway but you always bought us nothing but the best and tried to make an effort for us. it was hard for you as grandad died on christmas day from cancer when you were just fourteen. i know now how that must have felt. im still looking out for mum, but she misses you so much and there is nothing anyone can do to change how she feels. you were married to her for 44 years and she will never forget the love of her life, none of us will. i visit your grave regularly and everyone says i need to stop it but its where i feel close to you so im not gonna stop till i think its time to. anyway dad im going to sign off now, keep visiting me in my dreams and sleep tight, your loving daughter, patricia.

commented by snake-lady
05 July 2009

05 July 2009 16:58

hi dad. well, you became a great grandad on fathers day to a beautiful 8lb baby girl. she is so precious to us all. i know you wouldve spoiled her rotten had you been spared, but it wasnt meant to be. she will grow up knowing all about you though, i will make sure of that. i wont teach her any of the naughty limericks that you taught my 2, im sure youd do that if you were still here [but shes much too sweet for any of that].
i still miss you like crazy, id give anything to be able to speak to you just one last time. this website was the only way i had to cope with your leaving me and the lovely people here who understand what its been like for me. mum still misses you too, she says she is still waiting for you to give her a sign youre still around and watching over her.
anyway dad i just wanted to let you know youre not forgotten and always in my thoughts. i will always love you, sleep tight daddy, patricia.

commented by snake-lady
29 July 2009

29 July 2009 02:51

well dad, here i am again. it was your 74th birthday on the 26th july and the first one since you left us. found the day hard but was able to cope as baby Rhiannon was baptised. we thought it would be a way for rhiannon to remember the date of her baptism and as a mark of respect for you. i wish you couldve been there dad, you wouldve been so proud. she wore your christening robe and looked so beautiful in it. thats the 5th generation of your family to have been baptised in that robe. you got a mention during the service, i was rather proud of that and everyone came up to us afterwards and told us thier memories of you, some funny stories too but no-one had a bad word to say about Derek Seaton. when everyone went home, we all went and put flowers on your grave for your birthday, there was a bouquet from the baby put on too as we want her to grow up knowing how special you are to us all. anyway dad thats about all i have for now, miss and love you always, sleep tight daddy, from your loving daughter, patricia.

commented by snake-lady
25 September 2010

25 September 2010 23:24

well, here i am again dad. its two years today since you left us. i still miss u so much, but im starting to get my head together again. carrieanne is pregnant again and thats gonna be another new family member. wish that you were here to see the kids. rhiannon is one now and we had her christened on your birthday in july. the next pitter patter of tiny feet will be in april. you would love rhiannon, shes a real wee character. shes probably a lot like me as a child, a tomboy and into everything. she went to your grave today with the family, but slept through it all. me and mum have the grave lovely, its all in bloom with all sorts of flowers.
i still miss you so much dad, i dont think that will ever go away. we just had that special bond that cant be broken even in death.
watch over mum and the kids, they miss you so much.
sleep tight daddy,
your loving daughter,
patricia.

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