teen in denial

April 30, 2013 - 22:35

Hi Franny here again
My husband and I had my daughter who has had chemo and is now finished at the hospital to see the cancer nurse .My doctor has advised her to see a counsellor or psychologist just to talk to and try and help her come to terms with everythingthat has happened to her since January 2nd .I honestly thought that my daughter was going to take the bite and avail of these services,but as soon as she left the hospital, she said that the nurse had lost the run of herself even suggesting that ,she partake in anything,As Barretstown or Canteenis for sick kids only and that she has seen enough of sickness to last her a lifetime.My worry is if she does not get professional help will she hit a wall in a year or so. If so.If she was to I would never be able to forgive myself. Her only reply is that she wants to forget about the whole episode and get on with her life.I now she is just putting on a front,she would win an oscar.She is still in bed till 4pm curtains drawn and lights off.I am not a professional but christ that cannot be.Does she need help to deal with this,.or is it all in my mind.
Many thanks

May 1, 2013 - 09:11

Hi Franny,

It's definitely not just in your mind.

Is there anywhere your daughter could go for counselling other than a hospital where she will see other sick people? She obviously does not want to be associated with illness any more and I can well understand that.


May 1, 2013 - 20:37

Hi Kath
Thank you for your reply. We spoke with her again last night and told her we would bring her wherever she wanted,and her reply was she just wants to get on with her life.cancer is over and dusted with.We can bring a horse to water ,but cant make him drink it,(excuse the pun)
Franny . Where to from here

May 1, 2013 - 21:43

Hi Franny,

I must say that the horse and the water line occurred to me too but I never dared to write it in the context of your daughter. Poor girl and poor you too.

I am sure that you are doing everything possible to help her and have no reason to think you'll have regrets down the line. Your care and concern comes through with every word you write

Maybe you could take an approach of asking her to try to gradually ease into getting up earlier, doing some sport, eating regular meals and living a more normal day. I guess she needs to build up to being able to return to school in September. Maybe you could say, OK, let's just keep counselling as a possibility at the back of our minds for now, but in the meantime show me that you can start moving towards living a normal day.

It's not easy and my heart goes out to you both.