Caring for someone with cancer
posted by bubbles46
12 January 2014

Dont know how to help my grieving dad-5 years on...

Last reply: 24 January 2014 08:55

This coming May will be the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death from cancer. Her and my dad were married 30 years and were best friends.My dad is still as down now nearly 5 years on as he was the day she died.I have 3 siblings and we are all there for him but we are all married with kids so cannot be at home with him full time.He lives on his own in the middle of the countryside and we worry about him on his own.He puts on a brave face for us all of the time but he is always on edge,talking about bad stories he hears around and generally down alot,there is never a positive outlook from him anymore.He retired from his workplace 4 months ago and this has definitely added to his depression as Id say he feels more lost now than ever before.Everything seems to be a struggle for him.I know there is no solution to this really,we cant bring back our mother but I just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone has a similar situation.We hate feeling so helpless for him Image removed.

2 comments

Comments

commented by Irish Cancer Society
24 January 2014

24 January 2014 08:55

Dear Bubbles,

I am sorry to read about the concern you have for your father since your mother’s death five years ago. I can only imagine that this was a great loss for you all and that in particular this has a had a significant impact on your dad who is since trying to adjust to living without her after many years together. The natural grieving process can vary for different people and take differing lengths of time for individuals and periods of deep sadness and depression may be part of it. However if as you say his depression is persistent you could advise him to attend his GP to assess his depression or to attend bereavement counselling. You are very welcome to call us here on the National Cancer Helpline if you would like further advice and we would be able to direct you to local bereavement services which may be helpful for your dad. I hope that you will also hear from other posters on the message board soon.

Kind regards,
Cancer Information Nurse

commented by Irish Cancer Society
24 January 2014

24 January 2014 08:55

Dear Bubbles,

I am sorry to read about the concern you have for your father since your mother’s death five years ago. I can only imagine that this was a great loss for you all and that in particular this has a had a significant impact on your dad who is since trying to adjust to living without her after many years together. The natural grieving process can vary for different people and take differing lengths of time for individuals and periods of deep sadness and depression may be part of it. However if as you say his depression is persistent you could advise him to attend his GP to assess his depression or to attend bereavement counselling. You are very welcome to call us here on the National Cancer Helpline if you would like further advice and we would be able to direct you to local bereavement services which may be helpful for your dad. I hope that you will also hear from other posters on the message board soon.

Kind regards,
Cancer Information Nurse

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