Aislinn and Tom's Skin Cancer Story
“If sharing mine and my late husband’s story even gets one person to check a mole they're not sure of, put on sunscreen as they’re waiting on the kettle to boil, or even gets someone second-guessing getting a tan this summer, I don't think it will have been shared in vain.”
Aislinn Walsh, 31, from Rush, Co. Dublin is sharing the importance of sun safety after losing her 32-year-old husband, Tom, to melanoma last April. Tom worked outdoors as a gardener and greenkeeper. He practised sun safety but developed a mole on a part of his head that wasn’t covered by his sun hat.
The mole later disappeared, and when he went to his GP about it, they were unconcerned as the mole wasn’t visible and no further action was taken. Several months later, Tom’s health then took a turn for the worse.
“The first indication that anything was wrong was in January 2024,” says Aislinn. “Tom had a seizure during the night, so I called an ambulance. We went to A&E that night and he went for MRIs. They told us that they could see lesions on his brain that looked like melanoma.
“They never found the primary tumour. They did a brain biopsy in April 2024, when it was confirmed he had melanoma that had spread to his brain. He did a course of palliative radiotherapy for ten days, then immunotherapy which ended in August 2024.
“The scans after that showed that the treatment wasn’t successful. It rocked our world completely. But, in everything, we still had hope. We’re very positive people, Tom even more so than me.”
Tom was doing OK until October 2024, when he was put on a targeted immunotherapy treatment as his condition worsened. Tom had proposed to Aislinn shortly after he was diagnosed and the couple had planned to marry in Beaumont Hospital due to Tom’s condition. However, he started to improve and was able to leave hospital in late October.
“We got married on the 13th of November 2024 in Tankardstown House, Co. Meath. We had our wedding day, and it was lovely. Tom looked so handsome, and it was such a great day. There was no sadness at all that day, because he was doing well again at that point.
“We had a good four months after that where we travelled around the country. We didn't really speak about how close we came to Tom no longer being here. There was too much life to be lived.
“Around St Patrick’s Day, I had a feeling that something was amiss. I noticed changes in Tom’s energy and a slight difference in his walk.
“At the end of March, I called one of his nurses and described some new symptoms to her and she said it sounded like a stroke, and I needed to call an ambulance.
When we went to hospital, they found that what was actually happening was that the tumour was pressing on his brain and causing a deficit on his left side.”
A brain scan showed that more growths had occurred. Tom was then put on an oral chemotherapy but stopped after five days as it was exacerbating his symptoms.
“When we went to hospital, they noticed things were accelerating and the decision was made to stop treatment altogether. When you’re told there’s nothing else, and what you’ve been doing isn’t working, that’s when your hope starts to dry up.”
As Tom’s health continued to decline, Aislinn took time off from her job as a primary school teacher to become his carer. Shortly before he passed away in a hospice, Tom got five nights of care from the Irish Cancer Society’s Night Nursing service. This gave Aislinn and her family, who the couple were living with, a chance to sleep and gave them comfort.
“It meant that I was able to get a couple of hours’ sleep, and I can’t imagine how any of us would’ve gotten through those nights without the Night Nurses. They’re literal angels. They’re such special people to do what they do.
“On the fifth night, the night before Tom went to the hospice and passed away, the Night Nurse that came to us was incredible. I had call Tom’s family in Mayo and Lucan to be near.
“The Night Nurse was there for Tom in every way. She helped with pain management, comforting and easing his symptoms. She also talked myself and our families through what she was doing. She took care of us all.”
Tom passed away in a hospice on the 29th of April this year, with Aislinn by his side. After he was diagnosed and as he was going through treatment, he made sure that both he and Aislinn took care of themselves and developed strong coping skills.
“Tom was really thoughtful and considerate,” says Aislinn. “After he was diagnosed, he went for counselling and encouraged me to do it too. He was also very clear that we needed to continue to do things that filled our own cups, like walking the dog, going to therapy sessions, and seeing friends. And I still live that way now.
“When I’m with Tom’s family in Mayo, I feel him there, and when they’re with me, they feel Tom is near too. In everything, his message was always to focus on life and to appreciate that life is a blessing.”
Aislinn adds: “I would just like to share that Tom's cancer journey is only one aspect of a very full, albeit shortened, life. He filled life with friends, family, a job he loved, GAA, music, running, countless cups of tea and so much more.”
Aislinn is sharing her story to pay tribute to her beloved husband, and to encourage people to protect their skin from the sun.
“There are so many preventions that work and can prevent people from developing melanoma, like wearing sunscreen, staying out of the sun at the hottest part of the day, seeking shade, covering up in light clothing and not using sunbeds.
''As a teacher, I now feel very strongly in sharing the importance of sun safety in a child appropriate way. I think parents should teach their children to use sunscreen from a young age.
“I also believe free sunscreen should be provided in public places. It would be such a positive step towards skin health. It’s especially important when you consider that the most common cancer in Ireland is skin cancer.
“The benefits of free sunscreen being provided will be reaped, as hopefully it will mean that fewer people will have to go through surgery or treatment for skin cancer, and I’m sure lives will be saved.”
